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Band 4+: Many young people today spend too much time on social media. What problems does this cause, and what solutions can you suggest?

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Nowadays, technology has become and important part of everyone life. A lot of people, mainly young people waste time on smartphones and the internet. This essay will highlight the principal causes of these issues and possible solutions to resolve.

First of all, the main problem caused by excessive smartphone use is that young people waste a lot of time online. For instance many students, spend a lot of time watch short videos, and scrolling phone instead of reading books or watching beneficial rules with effects their studying as a result. In addition too much playing games or watching videos online and their refuses to spend to hobbies, sports or studying. This means that rather than developing their skills or maintaining healthy lifestyle, young people spend most of their free time on screens, which can harmful affect both their physical and mental health.

This problem is solve one effective encourage young people to spend more time real life activities. In addition, parents and teachers can motivate them to read books, listen to music, play sports or see friends actually life, which can help reduce screen time and improve both skills, physical or mental health. This approach can help young people decrease their scrolling videos time develop beneficial skills upgrade physical sports and save better mind health.

In conclusion, a lot of among young people use smartphones can waste their time beneficial. Parents teach owned children how time to use in addition can you watch videos, but this is very advantage for young people.

Word Count: 252

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 8

young: 7

their: 7

spend: 4

videos: 4

waste: 3

beneficial: 3

addition: 3

sports: 3

skills: 3

physical: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and development. To improve, provide more specific examples and expand on the potential solutions. Focus on developing each point more thoroughly with clear explanations and supporting details.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some attempt at organization, but the ideas are not always logically connected, and the progression of thought is difficult to follow. Paragraphing is present but not always effective in grouping related ideas. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak or absent, leading to a disjointed feel. To improve, focus on using clear topic sentences, logical connectors (e.g., 'therefore,' 'however,' 'in addition'), and ensuring each paragraph has a central idea that is well-developed.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there is frequent repetition of simple words and phrases. The vocabulary used is not always accurate or appropriate for the context, leading to some ambiguity. To improve, try to expand your vocabulary by reading widely and learning synonyms for common words. Pay attention to the specific meaning of words and use them accurately. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, article use, and sentence structure. These errors frequently impede understanding. The range of grammatical structures used is limited. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Review verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Consider using simpler sentence structures to ensure accuracy.

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