Opinion

Band 5+: Nowadays, a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned because of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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‎It is argued that advertising is made to attract children and should be restricted because it can badly impact them. I completely agree with this view.

There are a number of reasons why I believe that advertising should be banned. One possible reason is that many advertisements are made to attract children; eventually, they put pressure on their parents. For example, when they watch a video on social media they are eager to buy these products which can financially burden their parents.

Another reason is that many advertisements do not match what is shown in real life on media platforms.In addition, some advertisements show fast food videos; by watching these videos, children are attracted to try these foods, which can be harmful to their health as these foods contain burnt oil. Sometimes fake news can create political instability and social problems.

‎However, advertising plays an important role in raising awareness among people. Social problems and health issues reach people through advertising. For instance, people can learn about new products and different world events. Moreover, advertisements help people in business growth as it delivers information about new products to people.

To sum up, although there are some advantages, it has several disadvantages too. If they are not controlled and aimed at children, they can bring disaster to their lives.‎

Word Count: 218

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

advertising: 4

advertisements: 4

their: 4

these: 4

people: 4

children: 3

social: 3

products: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The ideas are relevant, but the support lacks precision in places. For example, the link between fake news in advertising and political instability needs further clarification. To improve, ensure each point is fully developed with clear explanations and specific examples. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates a generally clear progression of ideas, but the connections between some sentences and paragraphs could be strengthened. For instance, the transition between the second and third paragraphs feels somewhat abrupt. Consider using transitional phrases to guide the reader more smoothly through your argument. While paragraphing is present, refining the focus of each paragraph could improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but some word choices are not precise (e.g., "badly impact"). Expanding your vocabulary and focusing on using more specific and nuanced language would enhance the essay. Explore synonyms and collocations to express your ideas more effectively. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains grammatical errors that occasionally impede understanding. While a variety of sentence structures are attempted, accuracy needs improvement. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and correct tense usage. Reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction would be beneficial.

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Band 5+: Nowadays, a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned because of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned because of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned because of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned because of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned because of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned because of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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