Opinion

Band 7+: Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child's mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a growing trend of people watching TV and playing video games. Although some individuals think that these activities are the best way to relive stress and a popular pastime, I firmly believe that they can lead to serious problems, such as incresing cunduct disoreders, addiction and rise in crime and violence.

On the one hand, one compelling reason why playing video games and watching TV can be beneficial for children is that these activities help them avoid a busy and stressful lifestyle. When children engage in video games or watch TV, they tend to feel more relaxed and entertained, which ultimately can leading to a decrease in their cortisol levels and help them forget negative experiences. Another profound reason is the quality of leisure activities. Virtual video games are highly engaging and can foster creativity and imagination through colorful visuals. in terms of these opportunities, young people can spend their free time in a more interactive way. Furthermore, playing video games can improve teenagers’ technical abilities, as they learn various IT-related functions and skills while playing. Therefore, these activities provide several advantages, including reducing stress levels, improving the quality of leisure time, and enhancing technical knowledge among young people.

On the other hand, I strongly believe that screen-based entertainment may deteriorate children’s mental health, particularly by negatively affecting their behaviour. Digital games can sometimes contribute to an increase in criminal behaviour among teenagers. When they watch or play violent content excessively, they may struggle to distinguish between virtual and real life, which can lead to an increase in conduct disorders. Addiction is another negative effect of screen-based entertainment. Regular overuse of digital entertainment activities may lead to addiction. Consequently, children may easily waste their time and damage their health. In this context, excessive watching and gaming can lead to serious problems such as mental health issues.

In conclusion, although screen-based entertainment activities provide several benefits – such as stress relief and a popular leisure activity – I am more convinced that they pose serious problems, particularly mental disorders.

Word Count: 340

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

games: 6

activities: 6

video: 5

their: 5

playing: 4

these: 4

entertainment: 4

watching: 3

stress: 3

serious: 3

problems: 3

addiction: 3

children: 3

leisure: 3

screen-based: 3

mental: 3

health: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The ideas are relevant, but there could be more focus and precision in supporting them. To improve, ensure each point is thoroughly explained and directly linked back to the central argument about mental health. Also, consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your points.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized with a clear structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The ideas are presented in a logical sequence, and the use of cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'Another profound reason,' 'Furthermore,' and 'On the other hand' helps to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. However, there are instances where the transitions could be smoother to enhance the overall flow. For example, in the second paragraph, the transition between discussing stress relief and the quality of leisure activities could be more explicit. Similarly, in the third paragraph, the connection between addiction and wasting time/damaging health could be strengthened with a more direct link. While the paragraphing is generally effective, ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single, well-defined idea would further improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, including terms like 'relive stress,' 'profound reason,' 'foster creativity,' 'deteriorate,' and 'conduct disorders.' The vocabulary is generally used appropriately, and there is an attempt to use more sophisticated language. However, there are some instances where the word choice could be more precise or natural. For example, 'incresing cunduct disoreders' could be improved to 'increasing conduct disorders.' Additionally, while the vocabulary is varied, there is room to incorporate more nuanced expressions and idiomatic language to elevate the writing further. Overall, the lexical resource is adequate but could benefit from more refined and accurate usage. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. There are only a few noticeable errors, such as 'incresing cunduct disoreders' and 'can leading,' which suggests a generally accurate use of grammar. The punctuation is also generally correct. To improve further, focus on eliminating minor errors and ensuring that all sentences are grammatically sound. Pay attention to verb tense consistency and subject-verb agreement. Refining these aspects will enhance the overall clarity and precision of the writing.

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Band 7+: Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child's mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Task Response

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Lexical Resource

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Essays On The Same Topic:

Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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