Cause And Solution

Band 4+: nowadays, more and more children aare being broughup in single parent families. what are the causes of this? what effects can be seen as a result of this?

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It appears an issue that many single parent families are taking care their children by themselves. This is occurring because they have a financial problem, while it makes some effect for their children, such as lacking of love from their mother or father.

On the one hand, financial problem is to be one of the many reasons why people choose to take care they children by themselves. This is because they did not want to suffer with their spouses if they living together. Many fathers have not an appropriate earning to fulfil their daily needs. Consequently, it makes their spouse choose to be independence women or men for growing up their children. For example, In Boyolali, Central Java, there are many cases about stunting. It is happened because many parents break up their married, and choose to live just with their children. This makes their standard living become lower, and they can not give an appropriate nutritional food for their children.

On the other hand, if the children that are growth by single mother or father, they will lack of love for their parent. As we know together that to develop the balance of the brain and emotion of the children, they need love from the complete parent. For instance, based on Statistic centre of Indonesia showing that 66% children got the problem with their emotion and their cognitive, and it give an influence of their capability in their social behaviour.

To sum up, to be single parent are not forbidden, but it can make the children feel lacking of love from their parents, while it is caused by the financial problem that happened in their parents live.

Word Count: 278

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Overall Band Score

4.5

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 18

children: 9

parent: 4

problem: 4

single: 3

because: 3

financial: 3

makes: 3

choose: 3

parents: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the causes and effects of children being brought up in single-parent families, but the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The position is presented, but the depth of exploration could be improved. The examples provided are relevant but need further elaboration to fully support the points. Additionally, there are some lapses in content and support, such as the lack of elaboration on the effects of single-parent upbringing.

Coherence & Cohesion

The message is generally understandable, but there are issues with coherence and cohesion. The essay lacks clear paragraphing, and the progression of ideas is not always smooth. Additionally, there are some language issues that affect the overall coherence, such as awkward phrasing and lack of transition words. To improve, focus on organizing the essay into well-structured paragraphs and using cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively.

Lexical Resource

There is an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, but it is not always accurate or appropriate. Some words are used incorrectly, and there are instances of awkward or unclear phrasing. To enhance lexical resource, aim for more precise and natural use of vocabulary. Additionally, consider expanding the range of vocabulary used to express ideas more effectively.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a range of structures, but there are noticeable grammatical errors throughout. These errors include subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and word choice. Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, focus on sentence structure variety, accurate verb forms, and proper punctuation usage. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical errors is essential.

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