Discussion

Band 4+: Nowadays more and more young people hold the important positions in the government. Some people think that it is a good thing, while others argue that is not suitable. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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For a country,young people are crucial.In many developed and developing countries a substantial amount of money allocated for young people to skill them and sometimes government organise many soft skills programme so that they can skilled them by this programme.Nowadays,many would agree that contemporary society has nearly transcended and will soon become boundless in the pursuit of young leading the important post in government.Nevertheless,i firmly believe that it is highly beneficial if juvenlie holding the significant position in government.

Juvenlies are the form of development is considered more essentail for a country.There are many reasons why some people are favour in young people holding the significant post of government.Firstly.young are enthusiastic,they have a great vision and the spirit to take any challenges.Nowadays,young are well quallified in the technological sight and they do many thing with this technology.They are not confined with conventions and are willing to try new thing.

On the other hand,some people think that it is not suitable that young holding the important position.There are so many reason behind this because they think that young are less experienced so it is not a wish desicion to holding them significant post.Any of their hasty decisions may have serious consequences.

In my opinion,i believe that it is a good thing to holding juvenlie in government significant post.young are energetic and they take the decisions that are important for their country.

Word Count: 230

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 5

young: 5

holding: 5

significant: 4

important: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both views on young people holding important government positions and providing an opinion. However, the ideas presented lack clarity and sufficient development. The arguments for and against young people in government are somewhat generic and not well-supported with specific examples or detailed explanations. To improve, focus on providing more concrete evidence and elaborating on the potential benefits and drawbacks with greater precision. Also, ensure that your position is consistently maintained and clearly articulated throughout the essay. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some attempt at organization, but the ideas are not always presented logically or clearly. The introduction and conclusion are present but lack depth. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. Paragraphing needs improvement to better group related ideas. Focus on creating clearer connections between your ideas and using appropriate linking words and phrases.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of inaccurate word choice ('juvenlie,' 'quallified,' 'wish desicion'). Some vocabulary is repetitive. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using a wider range of words and phrases. Pay attention to the correct usage and spelling of words. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect article usage. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. There are also issues with punctuation. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Practice writing simple sentences and gradually incorporate more complex structures as your accuracy improves. Proofread carefully for errors.

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