Opinion

Band 6+: People living in 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Undeniably, nowadays, due to advancements in technology living standards of individuals are considerably better than those people who lived in a century ago. Moreover, it makes life easier is a number of ways, however, there are some certain problems associated with this phenomenon . Therefore, I partially agree with the given notion.

To commence with, the first and foremost reason is that there is availability of advanced medical care. To explain it more, in modern world, machines are available to diagnose and treat various diseases more effectively than in the past. As a result, people can receive timely treatment to some deadly diseases that were untreatable in past. For instance, the development of antibiotics, vaccines and other surgical treatments significantly reduced mortality rates and increased the life span of human beings.

Paradoxically, while these advancements have brought numerous benefits, it has also resulted in some negative consequences, such as climate change, destruction of natural habitat than before. Despite these drawbacks there are a number of benefits for today’s population. Moreover, there are not only entertainment sources but also educational platforms from which young individuals or students attain knowledge about numerous things.For instance, there are significant number of artificial intelligence chatbots which can not only assist youngsters in their studies but also facilitate them in their personal life.Hence, advanced technology helps to maintain better living standards.

In conclusion, although there are some drawbacks like pollution, destruction of natural habitat. However, I reiterate my opinion that advancement in technology have benefits for better lifestyle of individuals in the modern world.

Word Count: 258

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

there: 6

technology: 3

individuals: 3

better: 3

number: 3

benefits: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position (partial agreement), but the development of ideas is somewhat limited and lacks precision. The first body paragraph on medical care is relevant and supported with examples, but the second body paragraph shifts focus to education and AI without fully exploring the negative consequences mentioned. The conclusion is somewhat repetitive and could be more concise. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea, develop arguments with more specific examples and analysis, and avoid introducing new points in the conclusion. Also, work on grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by abrupt transitions and unclear connections between points. For example, the second body paragraph shifts from discussing negative consequences to listing benefits without a clear link. The conclusion also introduces a new idea ('pollution, destruction of natural habitat') that was not fully developed earlier. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and use cohesive devices (e.g., 'on the other hand', 'furthermore') to smoothly connect sentences and paragraphs. Also, avoid introducing new points in the conclusion.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'advanced medical care', 'mortality rates', 'artificial intelligence chatbots', and 'natural habitat'. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, e.g., 'it makes life easier is a number of ways' (should be 'in a number of ways'), 'there are significant number of' (should be 'a significant number of'), and 'destruction of natural habitat than before' (unclear). To improve, focus on using precise and natural collocations, and proofread to eliminate minor errors. Expanding the range of less common vocabulary (e.g., 'paradoxically' is good) would also enhance the lexical resource.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of sentence structures, including complex sentences and some subordinate clauses. However, there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity, such as subject-verb agreement ('advancement in technology have benefits' should be 'advancements in technology have benefits'), incorrect use of articles ('a century ago' instead of 'a century ago' is correct, but 'there is availability' should be 'there is the availability'), and punctuation issues (e.g., missing commas, extra spaces before periods). Additionally, some sentences are run-ons or lack proper connectors. To improve, review grammar rules for subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence boundaries. Practicing writing with varied structures and proofreading can help achieve greater accuracy.

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