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Band 5+: Population in cities is growing rapidly. What are the effects of this? What solutions can gou give to maintain a good quality of life in urban areas?

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In recent years, the rise of population in cities has a bad effect on the environment and can lead to pollution and natural deterioration. This essay will discuss the main problems associated with this issue and suggest possible solutions.

One major problem caused by populations is that humans are destroying natural habitats and wood carelessly. Therefore, many animals and plants become the victims of this pollution.

Another problem to consider pollution is the industrial factories, which release a huge amount of fuel. This happens because many people turn a blind eye to the government’s natural laws, also used toxic substances and garbage they pour into streams and rivers, which causing terrible damage to ecosystem.

One effective solution to this issue is governments can raise people’s awareness of environment by opening online classes and including preservation campaigns. This would help to our society understand the environmental problems and take an action. Another possible measure is a strict punishment, it can be used to prevent nature and keep them safely.

In conclusion, natural deterioration and environmental pollution are likely happen if government can not control the speed of growing population. These issues can be addressed through appropriate measures such as educating people as well as joining programs and campaigns.

Word Count: 207

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

natural: 4

pollution: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt, discussing the effects of population growth in cities and suggesting solutions. A position is presented, but the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, provide more specific examples and evidence to support your claims. Also, ensure a clearer focus and more precise development of your ideas. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates an adequate attempt to address the topic, but the organization could be improved for better flow. Transitions between ideas are sometimes abrupt, and the connection between problems and solutions could be more explicitly stated. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, in the introduction, clearly state the two main problems you will discuss. In the conclusion, summarize the solutions more effectively and link them back to the problems mentioned earlier.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate but lacks sophistication. There are instances of imprecise word choice (e.g., "wood carelessly"). To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary that is more specific and nuanced. For example, instead of "bad effect," consider using "detrimental impact" or "adverse consequences." Also, focus on using collocations and idiomatic expressions appropriately to enhance the naturalness of your writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common errors include incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. For example, "populations is that humans are destroying" should be "population growth leads to humans destroying." Also, the sentence structure could be more varied. Practice using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences to improve the flow and sophistication of your writing. Pay close attention to punctuation, especially commas and articles.

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