Opinion

Band 8+: •Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

It is true that university education is very expensive, and finding a job after graduation can be difficult. Some people believe that universities should concentrate on practical subjects and stop teaching arts subjects like history and philosophy. However, I disagree with this viewpoint because I believe that arts subjects are still very important.

On the one hand, practical subjects such as engineering, medicine, and computer science are indeed useful. These fields provide students with specific skills that employers are seeking. Given the high tuition fees, many students aim for high-paying jobs to repay their loans. If universities were to focus solely on practical subjects, the employment rate of graduates might indeed increase.

On the other hand, I believe that subjects like history and philosophy provide valuable skills that are not limited to specific jobs. These courses teach students how to think critically, analyze information, and communicate clearly. These skills, often referred to as soft skills, are utilized in every career, including business and politics. Furthermore, a society needs individuals who understand culture and history to progress as a human race.

In conclusion, while practical courses are essential for the economy and for students’ careers, we should not stop teaching arts subjects. A good university should offer a variety of subjects to enable students to develop both professional skills and critical thinking.

Word Count: 221

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

subjects: 8

skills: 5

practical: 4

students: 4

believe: 3

should: 3

history: 3

these: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. A clear and consistent position is maintained throughout the response, moving from the acknowledgment of the opposing view to a well-reasoned defense of arts subjects. The ideas are relevant, well-developed, and supported by logical explanations (e.g., the link between arts subjects and soft skills, and the societal need for cultural understanding). The structure is logical, and the progression of arguments is easy to follow. To maintain this level, ensure that even in shorter essays, you continue to provide this level of depth in your supporting examples. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is exceptionally well-organized. The progression of ideas is logical, moving from the acknowledgment of the opposing view to the presentation of the author's own stance. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate different aspects of the argument, and cohesive devices (e.g., 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'Furthermore', 'In conclusion') are used naturally to guide the reader through the argument without being repetitive or intrusive.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is precise, appropriate, and natural. You have successfully employed topic-specific terminology such as 'tuition fees', 'employment rate', 'critical thinking', and 'soft skills'. The word choices are sophisticated yet used with such ease that they do not feel forced. To reach even higher levels of nuance, you could occasionally experiment with more complex collocations, but for the purpose of this task, the lexical control is excellent. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The grammatical control demonstrated in this essay is near-perfect. You have used a variety of sentence structures, including conditional sentences ('If universities were to focus...') and complex sentences, with full accuracy. Punctuation is used correctly throughout to aid readability. There are no noticeable errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, or article usage.

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