Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 4+: Some children spend hours everyday on their computers, tablets, smartphones and spend a large part of freetime using their devices. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowaday, many children spend much time on digital devices such as computers, tablets and smartphones in their free time. Although it brings some advantages, I believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

It is undeniable that children can learn through online videos and apps. There are many channels on youtube teaching English, skill for them. It’s funny and creative. In addition, it can help us reduce stress after a long time of working or studying. We can watch interesting video on tiktok, listening to music.

Besides, it can harm children’s physical health. If you spend to much time online like watch video on smartphone, it will remain the dopamin such: the more people play, the more pleasure they gain. For a long time, it can harm eye strain, backache. Moreover, it may reduce time for physical activities because you spend too much time for them. And you are not enough health to join in these activities.

In conclusion, while technology bring some benefits, the negative effects on health and social life are more serious, therefore, I think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

Word Count: 181

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

spend: 3

health: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. The main ideas are relevant but lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the potential consequences of excessive screen time. Also, consider discussing the social implications in more detail. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes abrupt, making it harder for the reader to follow the argument. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and lacks precision. There are instances of inappropriate word choice. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using more specific and varied language to express your ideas. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. These errors impede understanding. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence structure. Proofreading carefully for errors is essential.

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Band 4+: Some children spend hours everyday on their computers, tablets, smartphones and spend a large part of freetime using their devices. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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Essays On The Same Topic:

Some children spend hours everyday on their computers, tablets, smartphones and spend a large part of freetime using their devices. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours everyday on their computers, tablets, smartphones and spend a large part of freetime using their devices. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours everyday on their computers, tablets, smartphones and spend a large part of freetime using their devices. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours everyday on their computers, tablets, smartphones and spend a large part of freetime using their devices. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours everyday on their computers, tablets, smartphones and spend a large part of freetime using their devices. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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