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Band 5+: Some parents think that helping their children with homework is good. Others think that children should do their homework on their own. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is an ongoing debate regarding whether offsprings should do their homework on their own or with their parents. While others think that involvement of parents would ease the educational challenges of pupils, due to their knowledge and support,I believe that children should deal with their studies, as it helps them to enhance their problem-solving skills and teaches them how to be independent.

Some believe that participation of parents in education of children would help them to deal with their homework as they provide support. Sufficient support from the side of parents can motivate children in terms of education. Because they learn that to deal with problems, the assemble of family will minimize all the challenges in their way. Therefore, enough support in the family changes their view to mistakes and motivates them to heal the problems. Another advantage of having parents while childer do homework, is that they can share they knowledge with offspring. Because they already gained sufficient education in their life, therefore helping to their children will reduce any misunderstandings in their studies. However, I deem that parents now are busy and do not spend much time with their children teaching them.

I am in favour of pupils doing their homework by their own, as it provides opportunity to learn how to solve their problems. School period is the best time to inforce crucial skills in a child. As it provides valuable insights to build an independent member of society. By letting a pupil to cope with problems espesially with studies, they deal with issues relying on their mistakes. For example, many Japanese students are grew solely, due to work schedule of their parents, and it led to an increase of independent generation. For this reason, I believe that allowing a child to do his own homework can beneficially affect on the future.

In conclusion, despite the practical support that parents can give their children at home, this essay believes that promoting self-reliance in completing homework can help to raise a responsible child and develop essential skills of offspring.

Word Count: 342

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 19

parents: 8

homework: 6

children: 6

support: 4

problems: 4

believe: 3

studies: 3

skills: 3

education: 3

child: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both perspectives and providing a clear personal opinion. The position is consistent throughout the response. However, while the main ideas are relevant, the development of these ideas could be more precise. Some arguments, such as the mention of Japanese students, are a bit underdeveloped and lack a clear logical link to the specific act of doing homework. To improve, focus on deepening the explanation of *how* specific actions (like parental help or independent study) lead to the stated outcomes. Additionally, ensure that the transition between ideas is smoother and avoid repetitive vocabulary (e.g., the frequent use of 'offspring' and 'pupils').

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs addressing both sides, and a conclusion. However, there are several instances where sentence fragments (sentences starting with 'Because') disrupt the flow. To improve, ensure that subordinate clauses are attached to main clauses rather than standing alone. Additionally, some transitions between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother to ensure the message is followed effortlessly.

Lexical Resource

You attempt to use a variety of vocabulary (e.g., 'offspring', 'self-reliance', 'valuable insights'), but there are several instances of incorrect word usage and awkward phrasing. For example, 'the assemble of family' and 'heal the problems' are not natural collocations in English. 'Offspring' is also used somewhat repetitively and can sound overly biological in an educational context; 'children' or 'students' is often more appropriate. Focus on learning common collocations to make your word choices sound more natural. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally hinder clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement, incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'affect on the future' instead of 'affect the future'), and errors in verb tense/form (e.g., 'are grew solely'). There are also issues with sentence structure, such as 'By letting a pupil to cope...', which should be 'By letting a pupil cope...'. To improve, practice complex sentence structures and pay close attention to the rules governing gerunds and infinitives.

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