Opinion

Band 4+: Some people argue that it is pointless to spend money on the protection of wild animals and plants because humanity has more important problems to solve. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

There are some individuals who believe that, loosing money to save other species is not crucial as there are other significant factors to improve. While there are some reasons behind this topic but in my opinion, saving them has a paramount importance in our daily life.

Animals are depends on each others in terms of food, life cycles and immunity and if there some of the animals goes to extinct others animals will feel the circumstance and as a result whole ecosystem might collapsed. Scientist from all over the world started researching about wild species about how important they are in humans lives and the result was schoking. The researcher found, even a tiny animal such as ant goes to extinct the food chain will be destoryed in a month and the whole species will go to the extinction.

Another reason to propound here is that, as humans are incresing rapidly, producing healty source of food is a major concern in order to live and theses animals has solid protin in their meat which is very vital for human health. Therefore, we need to save them and by reproducing them in a tiny space with the helps of advance technology we will be able to feed the increasing population which is advantageous and vital for human kind to survive.

To conclude, Altough there are also other essential factors which need to improve for human lives but saving the wild animals is also very benificial not only for other species but also for the human itself.

Word Count: 255

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

there: 5

other: 4

species: 4

animals: 4

human: 4

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position (agreeing with spending on protection). However, the development of ideas is limited and lacks clarity in places. The first main idea about the ecosystem is relevant but not fully explained, and the second idea about using animals as food is somewhat tangential and not well-supported. There are also issues with coherence and precision in the arguments. To improve, focus on developing each point with more specific examples and clearer reasoning, and ensure that all parts of the prompt are fully addressed. Additionally, work on structuring paragraphs more effectively and using precise language to convey your ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the flow of ideas is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections. The first body paragraph introduces the idea of ecosystem interdependence but lacks a clear topic sentence and smooth development. The second body paragraph shifts abruptly to the topic of food production without a clear link to the previous paragraph. Cohesive devices are used sparingly and sometimes inaccurately (e.g., 'Another reason to propound here is that'). Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively managed to enhance readability. To improve, focus on creating clear topic sentences, using a range of linking words accurately, and ensuring each paragraph develops a single main idea with logical progression.

Lexical Resource

The essay attempts to use a range of vocabulary, but there are frequent errors in word choice and spelling (e.g., 'loosing' instead of 'losing', 'schoking' instead of 'shocking', 'destoryed' instead of 'destroyed', 'benificial' instead of 'beneficial', 'protin' instead of 'protein'). Some phrases are awkward or unnatural (e.g., 'paramount importance in our daily life', 'propound here'). However, there are some good attempts at using less common vocabulary (e.g., 'ecosystem', 'extinction', 'advantageous'). To improve, focus on using precise and natural vocabulary, and proofread to eliminate spelling errors. Expand your range of topic-specific terms and use collocations correctly.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a variety of sentence structures, but there are numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity. Subject-verb agreement errors are common (e.g., 'Animals are depends', 'theses animals has'), and there are issues with articles, prepositions, and word forms (e.g., 'in terms of food', 'the result was schoking'). Some sentences are run-ons or fragments, and punctuation is often incorrect. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules, such as subject-verb agreement and correct use of articles and prepositions. Practice writing complex sentences with accurate punctuation, and review your work to correct errors.

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