Discussion

Band 6+: Some people believe that climate change is mainly caused by human activities, while others argue that it is a natural process. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Climate change has become one of the most global environmental issues in recent decades. While some experts argue that it is caused by people, others believe that it occurs due to natural causes. I strongly believe that both of them contribute to climate change.

On the one hand, human practices play a huge role in causing climate change. That’s mainly because of the burning of fossil fuels such as oil, coal, and natural gases. as government tends to use these gases instead of using renewable sources because it is easier. When burned, it emits carbon dioxide gas in the atmosphere causing high temperatures. In addition, deforestation contributes to causing climate change. In other words, farmers tend to cut trees down which absorb carbon dioxide gas to clean more space for cattle and to use them for paper industries. Therefore, carbon dioxide gases increase in the atmosphere which leads to climate change.

On the other hand, some experts argue that due to natural disasters, climate change is expected. In other words, volcanic eruptions change the temperature of the planet as it emits gases in the air, including carbon dioxide gas, which is one of the greenhouse effects, causing high temperatures in the planet.

In conclusion, climate change occurs due to human practices and natural causes. People cannot prevent natural disasters from happening, but government can at least implement strict regulations on industries and pose a wide range of policies to reduce the causes of climate change.

Word Count: 245

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

climate: 8

change: 7

natural: 5

causing: 4

gases: 4

carbon: 4

dioxide: 4

causes: 3

other: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on climate change and providing a clear opinion. The ideas are relevant, but the support for these ideas could be more precise and developed. To improve, consider providing more specific examples and elaborating on the consequences of the issues discussed. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear position and discusses both views as requested. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, in the second paragraph, elaborating on the link between deforestation and increased carbon dioxide levels would strengthen the argument. In the third paragraph, providing specific examples of volcanic eruptions and their impact could enhance the discussion. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to improve the flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses vocabulary that is generally appropriate for the topic, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "causing climate change," try incorporating synonyms or more specific phrases like "contributing to global warming" or "exacerbating the greenhouse effect." Expanding your range of vocabulary will make your writing more engaging and demonstrate a better command of the language. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of grammar, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. For example, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("government tends to use") and sentence structure. To improve, focus on using a wider range of sentence structures and ensuring that your grammar is accurate. Reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction can be beneficial.

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