Discussion

Band 5+: Some people believe there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing should always be considered when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

See all user-written essays on this topic

Skyrocket your IELTS band score by 1-2 points in under a month with our premium plan!

Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

It is often argued that juveniles should receive the same punishment as adults, due to committing serious crimes, while others believe that adult sentences are too severe for youngsters. This essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in favour of the latter.

On the one hand, many people believe that juveniles need to know that the law is serious and punishment is a good way to teach them this. Everyone will learn from their mistakes, no matter how small or huge they are. Law is a more serious thing than juveniles can imagine. For example, if young people receive even a small punishment, they will learn from this, and they will never commit this mistake again. Moreover, crime is a crime regardless of age. Fixed punishment for all ages will help to control crimes. For instance, no one will receive leniency because he or she is young. If youngsters receive leniency, it will bring chaos, all types of crime will be committed with the participation of juveniles.

On the other hand, youngsters might be negatively influenced by time in adult prisons. Not all juveniles are resistant to physical and mental push, consequently it might badly influence their whole life. For instance, after leaving prison they will continue doing crime, even though it might end in suicide. Furthermore, bad behaviour is easier to change when a person is young. While young, a person’s behaviour is not constant; it could change every day. Every person goes through several emotional periods, without parental control it might be directed in a bad way. Therefore, during several periods parents should control their children’s behaviour.

In my opinion, treating child criminals like adults is more effective and maintains equality among all crimes. I believe that juveniles who committed crime should receive leniency. It is more helpful for the population’s psychology and safety.

In conclusion, both fixed punishment and light punishment have their merits. However, I am convinced that light punishment is more efficient, it is helpful for the population and keeps children away from committing another crime.

Word Count: 344

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Check My Essay

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Generate A Sample

Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

punishment: 7

crime: 6

juveniles: 5

receive: 5

their: 4

young: 4

might: 4

should: 3

serious: 3

crimes: 3

believe: 3

youngsters: 3

control: 3

leniency: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay does not adequately address the prompt. The prompt asks for a discussion of fixed punishment versus considering circumstances and motivation for each crime, but the essay focuses on juvenile versus adult punishment, which is a different topic. The position is unclear and inconsistent; the writer states support for leniency for juveniles but also mentions treating child criminals like adults. Main ideas are limited, repetitive, and lack clear development or support. To improve, ensure the essay directly responds to the given topic, clearly presents both views as required, and maintains a consistent position throughout.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. However, the flow between ideas could be smoother. For example, the transition from the first body paragraph to the second is abrupt. Additionally, the conclusion does not fully summarize the main points discussed. To improve, use more cohesive devices such as 'in contrast', 'furthermore', and 'in summary' to link ideas more effectively. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and that the conclusion reflects the arguments presented.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate but lacks sophistication and variety. Words like 'serious', 'bad', and 'good' are repeated. There is some attempt at using more advanced terms like 'leniency' and 'chaos', but overall the range is limited. To improve, incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more precise vocabulary. For example, instead of 'bad behaviour', use 'delinquent behaviour' or 'misconduct'. Also, avoid informal phrases like 'it might end in suicide' which is too direct and could be expressed more sensitively. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. For instance, 'juveniles who committed crime should receive leniency' should be 'juveniles who commit crimes should receive leniency'. Also, 'it is more helpful for the population's psychology and safety' is unclear. Punctuation is mostly correct, but some sentences are run-ons. To improve, practice using a variety of sentence structures, such as conditional sentences and relative clauses, and proofread for subject-verb agreement and article usage.

Essays On The Same Topic:

See All

Sample topic: People in the limelight have a responsibility to set an example for others by their good behavior. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that famous people responsibility to set an example for others by their good behaviours. From my point of view, I largely agree with this idea because of their considerable influence on the public. However, this responsibility should have certain limits. To begin with, it is understandable why many people expected limelight […]

Band 5+

Many animals are facing extinction in the wild. Why is this happening? What can be done to protect them?

Numerous animal species are currently facing the threat of extinction in the wild, which is occurring due to a combination of severe environmental factors. I firmly believe that human activities, such as intensive agriculture, rapid urbanization, and heavy manufacturing, are the primary drivers of this crisis. Additionally, climate change continues to alter natural environments worldwide, […]

Band 9

To improve children's family life, should adults participate in a course on parenting and child development every year?

Nowadays, the issue of whether parents should participate in a course on improving child development and parenting has became a matter of cansiderable debate. While some people may have different opinions about this issue, I completely argee with the statement that family members should participate in a cource. In this essay, I will explain the […]

Band 4+

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets, and there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema.

In today’s rapidly evolving world, there are two different views regarding watching movies. Some assert that watching films on portable digital devices is greater convenient than going to the cinema. Others, however, argue that cinemas give them a sense of enjoyment and excitement. From my personal perspective, while using digital devices has made watching videos […]

Band 6+

See All