Discussion

Band 4+: Some people feel that it is always wrong to keep animals in captivity, for instance, in zoos. Other people say that there are benefits for the animals and for humans. Discuss both sides of this debate, and give your personal view.

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Some people believe that keeping animals in captivity such as in zoos is always wrong. Some claims that there are advantages for both humans and animals.

By keeping animals in zoos, they are protecting endangered species and also saving them from extinction. But many people, even workers of zoos don’t know how to treat animals. In captivity they are suffering from stress and boredom.

Most of people feel that locking animals up in cages takes away their freedom. Every livin being is deserved to be free to roam about their natural environments, such as forest or the ocean. Besides, there are instances of human of torturing animal in captivity for their businesses. For example, circus companies clip claws of tigers and lions to ensure the safety of spectators. But in the end it can lead to aggressive reaction of animals.

In conclusion, I would say that it’s wrong to keep animals in captivity. Animals should live in freedom and not in cages

Word Count: 162

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

animals: 6

captivity: 4

people: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

4.5

The essay addresses both sides of the debate, discussing the benefits for animals and humans as well as the negative aspects of keeping animals in captivity. The position is clearly presented, but the depth of exploration could be improved by providing more specific examples and evidence to support the arguments. Additionally, the personal view is clearly stated, but it would be beneficial to include more nuanced reasoning to strengthen the argument. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

3.5

The essay is generally easy to follow, but there are some coherence and cohesion issues. The organization of ideas within paragraphs could be improved for better flow and clarity. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices to link ideas and arguments could be more consistent to enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

Lexical Resource

3.5

There is a range of vocabulary used, but some imprecise word choices and awkward phrasing affect the overall lexical resource. To improve, aim for more precise and varied vocabulary, and pay attention to collocations and word forms. Additionally, using more sophisticated and natural language expressions would enhance the lexical resource.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

3.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of sentence structures, but there are some errors in grammar and punctuation that affect the overall accuracy. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and punctuation usage. Additionally, strive for more complex sentence structures to showcase a wider grammatical range.

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