Opinion

Band 4+: Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowdays some pople support that it is value have more green space in towns.However,others think that it will be more important to build more housing.In this essey we will disguss the reoseon why we support the idea about have more buldings in town.In contrast,our ecology becoming more significant than a comfort of pepole place and a population is increse every year.It meens in the future we will be need more house or apartments.

On the one hand,it is true that since 2019 world ecology is the most popular and significant problem hor the all world.People have been seeing ecology problem like global warming,biodivercity and air,water polloution but most of them ignor the problem which is conected about quality of humans life.For example,in Kazakhstan we have only 3 metropolis where have few hous and flats but a polluted city like Almaty , it will be hard to find place to live just a clean and warm house.Althgho in another cityes it is crutial that they do not have normal place to survive.It is a example in the coutry with normal number of population.Due to country like China or India with a lot of humanity it is more valuer than ecology.

In another hand, sientist said that in the future a Erth will have overpopulation and it is going to be in 30 years.It means a county have to be redy and have a place which is flexsible.

In conclution ecology are developing more than urban life.Basic things like a place where person live and transport or another aspect of usual life it is a key to happy life.

Word Count: 267

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

place: 5

ecology: 4

problem: 3

another: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the topic, but the development of ideas is somewhat unclear and limited. The position is discernible but not consistently maintained throughout. To improve, focus on providing clearer and more developed support for your arguments. Ensure each paragraph has a clear focus and directly addresses the prompt. Also, pay attention to the accuracy of your grammar and vocabulary to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay's organization is difficult to follow. The introduction attempts to outline the essay's direction, but it lacks clarity. The body paragraphs contain ideas that are not logically connected, and the transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak. The conclusion does not effectively summarize the main points or provide a clear stance on the issue. To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on creating clear topic sentences for each paragraph, using transition words to link ideas, and ensuring that each paragraph develops a single, focused argument.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary. There is frequent repetition of simple words and phrases, and the word choice is not always accurate or appropriate for the context. To enhance lexical resource, try to use synonyms and a wider variety of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. Focus on learning and using more specific and nuanced vocabulary related to the topic of urban planning and environmental issues. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and errors in sentence structure. These errors frequently impede understanding. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Practice writing simple sentences correctly before attempting more complex constructions. Review and edit your work carefully to identify and correct errors.

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