Discussion

Band 6+: Some people say that the clothes people wear are the most important indication of what they are like. Other, however,say that people should not be indget by the clothes they wear. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

While some people claim that clothes and fashion say much about each person’s personality, others argue that nobody should be judged based on what they keep in their closets.

On the one hand, there is a strong belief that people may know a bit of someone’s personality and values, depending on what outfit they choose to wear for a particular occasion. For example, when it comes to working, society normally tends to follow a formal dress code, such as wearing a suit or a blazer. If not, it is possible that you may receive a warning from the Human Resources department.

On the other hand, many people believe that clothing is not a right indicator of someone’s character. Instead, there are other key factors that show more about how a person might be. In my opinion, the main one is the way someone treats and speaks to others. In fact, I strongly believe that being respectful and gentle reveals much more about a person than wearing make up or fashionable clothes.

In conclusion, judging people only because their clothing is not always right. Although there are some particular moments when people should respect the dress code if they want to fit into society, it should not outweigh more valuable life skills that truly define someone’s personality.

Word Count: 216

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 5

about: 3

personality: 3

should: 3

there: 3

someone's: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing an opinion. The ideas are relevant, but the supporting details could be more precise and focused. To improve, ensure each point is thoroughly explained with specific examples and avoid generalizations. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear argument and follows a logical structure, discussing both sides of the argument and providing a personal opinion. The paragraphing is generally well-managed, contributing to the essay's overall coherence. To further enhance coherence, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For instance, elaborating on the connection between 'valuable life skills' and 'someone's personality' in the conclusion could strengthen the essay's overall flow.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, using appropriate words and phrases to convey the intended meaning. Terms like 'formal dress code,' 'Human Resources department,' and 'valuable life skills' are used effectively. To further improve lexical resource, consider incorporating more nuanced vocabulary and idiomatic expressions to add depth and sophistication to the writing. Exploring synonyms for commonly used words could also enhance the essay's lexical variety. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a wide range of grammatical structures with full flexibility and control. The grammar and punctuation are used appropriately throughout the essay. There are virtually no grammatical errors or phrasing issues.

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