Discussion

Band 4+: Some people think health care should be free for everyone. Other think that people should pay their medical cost themselves. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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One of the hotly debated issues in society is healthcare, while some individuals think healthcare must not be paid, other part of the society believe everybody should settle money for their medical services. This essay will examine both views, before arguing.

On the one hand, free healthcare ensures that everyone has access to medical treatment regardless of their financial situation. People with financial constraints may not be able to afford treatment, which can increase inequality. In addition, free vaccination programmes and emergency care help protect public health and save lives.

On the other hand, some people believe that paying for healthcare reduces unnecessary hospital visits and provides more money to improve medical facilities and services.

In conclusion, although both views have advantages, I believe that healthcare should be free because everyone deserves access to basic medical treatment, while optional services can be paid for by patients.

Word Count: 146

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

healthcare: 5

medical: 4

believe: 3

treatment: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both sides of the argument and presents a clear position. The ideas are relevant, but the development is somewhat limited. To improve, provide more specific examples or evidence to support each viewpoint, and ensure the conclusion fully reflects the discussion. Additionally, expand on the reasoning for your opinion to make it more persuasive. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs discussing each side, and a conclusion. The message is generally easy to follow. However, the introduction could be more cohesive, and the transition between paragraphs could be smoother. Consider using linking words or phrases to better connect ideas, such as 'Firstly' or 'In contrast'.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but somewhat limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'hotly debated issues' and 'financial constraints' show some range, but there is room for more sophisticated and varied word choices. For example, instead of 'settle money', use 'pay for' or 'cover the costs'. Try to incorporate more precise and natural expressions to enhance lexical resource.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. For instance, 'healthcare must not be paid' should be 'healthcare should be free', and 'other part of the society' should be 'others in society'. Punctuation is mostly correct, but some sentences could be rephrased for clarity. Improving grammatical accuracy and variety will strengthen the essay.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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