Discussion

Band 5+: Some people think social media is harmful. Others, however, believe these apps and websites are useful. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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On the one hand social media can negatively affect teenagers.

Many networking applications such as Facebook, TikTok, Whatsapp and Instagram make young people spend too much time on their phones. This overuse creates distance between family and friends and reduce face to face communication and may also lead to addiction, poor academic performance and health problems such as eye strain and lack of sleep. Therefore social media can have harmful effects if it is not used properly.

On the other hand, social media also provides several advantages. It helps teenagers stay connected with others and share information easily.

Students can learn new things, gain knowledge and access educational content online. Social media also allows young people to express their creativity and awareness themselves about global issues when used wisely. It can support learning and personal development.

In my opinion social media has both positive and negative effects, but its impact depends on how it is used. If teenagers manage their time and use it responsibly, the benefits can outweigh the harms.

Word Count: 171

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

social: 5

media: 5

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of social media and providing a clear opinion. The ideas are relevant, but the supporting details could be more specific and developed. To improve, provide more concrete examples and elaborate on the potential benefits and drawbacks of social media. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both sides of the argument, and a conclusion stating the writer's opinion. However, the transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother. Consider using more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow and connection between ideas within paragraphs. For example, in the first paragraph, you could add phrases like 'As a result' or 'Consequently' to better illustrate the cause-and-effect relationship between social media overuse and its negative consequences. In the second paragraph, you could use 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' to introduce additional benefits of social media.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as 'networking applications,' 'face-to-face communication,' 'addiction,' 'academic performance,' 'educational content,' and 'global issues.' However, the vocabulary could be more precise and sophisticated. For example, instead of 'make young people spend too much time on their phones,' you could use 'contribute to excessive screen time among young people.' Consider incorporating synonyms and more nuanced vocabulary to enhance the impact of your writing. Also, ensure that the vocabulary used is always accurate and appropriate for the context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are some grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. For example, 'awareness themselves about global issues' is not grammatically correct; it should be 'raise their awareness of global issues' or 'become more aware of global issues.' Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate preposition usage. Review your work carefully to identify and correct these errors. Varying sentence structure can also improve the flow and readability of your essay.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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