Opinion

Band 6+: Some people think that teachers at school are more responsible for children's intellectual and social development than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What is your personal opinion?

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It is said that when kids start to go to school, their teachers play a bigger role in the development of the child socially and intellectually. I do not believe this and think that parents have a much larger impact on the child.

Schooling is one of the child’s earliest form of socialization. Their teachers show them how to read, write and even play with their peers. For example, children are also given homework to ensure the knowledge is well impacted. However, the role of the teacher is limited to the intellectual aspect.

Parents, on the other hand, have a larger responsibility for the child. They spend more time with their offspring and are also naturally bonded to them. They teach them greetings, cultural norms and religion. They are still very much involved in the child’s intelligence as they decide the kids school and help with home work. Children also learn by mimicry and a lot of the values they will carry for life are picked up from their parents.

To conclude, while the teachers have a significant role in the child’s growth, the importance of the parents cannot be overemphasized as they play a much larger role in the child social and intellectual growth.

Word Count: 205

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 5

teachers: 3

child: 3

larger: 3

child's: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The main ideas are relevant, but there could be more focus and precision in supporting them. To improve, consider providing more specific examples and elaborating on the reasoning behind your claims. For instance, when discussing the role of parents, you could provide a more detailed explanation of how specific parental actions influence a child's intellectual development. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear position and maintains it throughout. The arguments are logically organized, and the paragraphing is generally effective. However, the connection between some sentences could be strengthened to improve the flow of ideas. For instance, in the second paragraph, elaborating on how homework ensures knowledge is 'well impacted' would enhance coherence. Also, in the third paragraph, explicitly linking the parents' role in choosing schools to the child's intellectual development would improve the cohesion of the argument.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, using appropriate words and phrases to convey the writer's ideas. There is room for improvement in using more precise and sophisticated vocabulary to elevate the writing further. For example, instead of 'a bigger role,' consider using 'a more significant influence.' Also, varying the vocabulary used to describe 'development' could enhance the lexical resource. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay exhibits a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. While the grammar is generally accurate, there are a few areas where attention to detail could improve the overall quality. For example, in the first paragraph, consider rephrasing 'I do not believe this and think that parents have a much larger impact on the child' for better clarity and flow. Also, ensure consistent subject-verb agreement throughout the essay.

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Band 6+: Some people think that teachers at school are more responsible for children's intellectual and social development than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What is your personal opinion?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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Essays On The Same Topic:

Some people think that teachers at school are more responsible for children’s intellectual and social development than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What is your personal opinion?

Some people think that teachers at school are more responsible for children’s intellectual and social development than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What is your personal opinion?

Some people think that teachers at school are more responsible for children’s intellectual and social development than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What is your personal opinion?

Some people think that teachers at school are more responsible for children’s intellectual and social development than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What is your personal opinion?

Some people think that teachers at school are more responsible for children’s intellectual and social development than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What is your personal opinion?

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Competition for university study is becoming increasingly strong Why is this happening? Is this a positive of negative development?

Some people think that companies' all decision should be taken by their managers only, while other think that it is better to include all the employees in decision making.

Some people think that companies all decisions should be taken by their managers only, while other thinks that it is better to include all the employees in decision making. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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As a part of education, students should spend a period of time living in another country to learn language and culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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