Opinion

Band 5+: Some psychologist recommends that to overcome stress in daily life we should do nothingat all for a period of time of the day do you agree or disagree

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These days, stress is becoming a general matters for everyone’s life, this mental problem will gradually become highly dangerous if it is not addressed immediately. To surmount this issue, Several psychology experts suggest that doing fully nothing for an entire day is the top solution. I personally disagree with this suggestion and this essay will discuss the reason.

To begin with, doing totally nothing may worsen people’s mental condition. When they do not do anything, their thoughts may get filled up with their personal matters, which could lead to overthinking. Various societies believe that being idle does not means their mind are inactive. When people’s start to over think their matters, they could felt anxious and guilty because they do not do any activities at all to solve their matters or do something useful.

Furthermore, stress could be treated through other beneficial activities, such as sports. Exercise could be advantageous for people’s mental health because it reduce stress hormone level, such as cortisol and adrenaline, which could help purify individual mind. When humans stress level go down, they may gain confidence and degrade insomnia. For instance, an employee with a routine workout that aim to lower his stress will be more delighted during his day, which influence his entire day and his mental health.

In conclusion, I strongly disagree the greatest method to conquer citizens stress are just doing nothing for a whole day. The reason why I have this opinion is that they have other useful ways to solve this problem and their own thinking.

Word Count: 256

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

stress: 6

their: 6

could: 5

matters: 4

mental: 4

doing: 3

nothing: 3

people's: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position of disagreement, but the development of ideas is limited and lacks depth. The first main idea about idleness leading to overthinking is relevant but not fully explored with concrete examples or elaboration. The second idea about exercise as an alternative is also relevant but the support is generic and could be more specific. There are some lapses in clarity and precision, and the conclusion is somewhat repetitive. To improve, provide more detailed explanations and examples for each point, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logical progression, and avoid vague statements. Also, proofread for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to enhance overall clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear pronoun references. The first body paragraph introduces the idea of overthinking but could be more clearly linked to the main argument. The second body paragraph shifts to the benefits of exercise, which is relevant but could be better connected to the overall stance. The conclusion restates the position but lacks a concise summary of the main points. To improve, use more cohesive devices (e.g., 'firstly', 'in addition', 'therefore') and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logical progression.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to stress and mental health (e.g., 'surmount', 'overthinking', 'beneficial activities', 'stress hormone level'). However, there are some inaccuracies and unnatural collocations (e.g., 'general matters', 'purify individual mind', 'degrade insomnia'). The phrasing is sometimes informal or imprecise. To improve, use more precise and natural vocabulary, and avoid direct translation from the first language. For example, instead of 'doing fully nothing', use 'doing absolutely nothing' or 'engaging in no activity'. Also, vary the word choices to avoid repetition. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences. However, there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity, such as subject-verb agreement ('stress is becoming a general matters'), incorrect verb forms ('they could felt'), and punctuation issues (missing commas, run-on sentences). The use of articles and prepositions is also inconsistent. To improve, focus on proofreading for common errors, practice using correct verb tenses, and ensure subject-verb agreement. Additionally, use more complex structures accurately, such as conditional sentences and relative clauses, to enhance grammatical range.

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