Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 4+: Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. What are the advantages or disadvantages for their study?

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Some school-leavers travel or work for a period of time before going to university. I will discuss the outweighs and drawbacks of this decision.

On the one hand, the benefit of work or travel before going to university is that students can earn their own money in order to prepare for their future. Also, gap year helps them broaden their horizons and explore the world. Furthermore work is beneficial in university so as to communicate and cooperate with other people. For instance, due to this you can solve your issues and also become more independent and mature.

On the other hand, it has some drawbacks taking a gap year, because if you work or travel you do not have time in order to think about your study and it becomes boring in university you do not have any desire to learn new things. Furthermore, working and traveling may not be related to your future profession. For example, the job may be different from your future occupation and because of this you can lose your time.

Ultimately, the evidence suggests that taking a gap year has both benefits and disadvantages. Whereas, it can help to young people be ready to their future and they gain experience, it may also delay their education and career,

Word Count: 213

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 5

university: 4

future: 4

travel: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year. A clear position is presented, and the main ideas are relevant. However, the supporting ideas lack precision and development; for example, the benefits of earning money and broadening horizons are mentioned but not fully explained or exemplified. The drawbacks are similarly underdeveloped, with vague statements about losing interest in study or wasting time. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on how these advantages or disadvantages directly impact study. Additionally, ensure the conclusion clearly states whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, as the prompt asks for a discussion of advantages or disadvantages, which implies a balanced or comparative analysis. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between ideas. For example, the phrase 'the benefit of work or travel before going to university is that students can earn their own money in order to prepare for their future' could be more smoothly integrated. The use of cohesive devices like 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' is appropriate, but the conclusion's use of 'whereas' is slightly confusing. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed logically.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but limited and sometimes imprecise. For instance, 'outweighs' is used incorrectly (should be 'advantages'), and phrases like 'broaden their horizons' are clichéd. There is some attempt at using less common vocabulary ('mature', 'occupation'), but overall the range is narrow. To improve, try to use more specific and varied vocabulary, such as 'financial independence' instead of 'earn their own money', and 'gain valuable life experience' instead of 'broaden their horizons'. Avoid repetition of words like 'university' and 'future'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward structures that affect clarity. For example, 'it has some drawbacks taking a gap year' should be 'taking a gap year has some drawbacks', and 'it can help to young people be ready to their future' should be 'it can help young people prepare for their future'. There are also issues with article usage ('the benefit' should be 'a benefit') and sentence fragments. To improve, practice using a wider range of sentence structures (e.g., complex sentences with subordinate clauses) and proofread carefully for common errors like subject-verb agreement and preposition use.

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