Positive And Negative

Band 4+: Task 2: Leaders of all kinds are often younger now than in the past. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or a negative development?

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There is no doubt that leaders now are younger than the old times.In this essay I will discuss this topic by providing reasons, and if it is a good or bad development.

In terms of advantages, I think it is amazing to see how young people are mature, creative, and know how to apply the concept of work-life balance.We learn from them a lot, and since everything is developing constantly,there must be a way to make more leaders to help in managing the projects and work.In the past, the leaders did not have much information as we do now, and there is big difference between learing in the past and currently, I think in the old times they were very strict, harsh and had to follow every single tiny rule without missing anything, so not everyone could become leader easily and there was not something that they can learn to become that.On the other hand, it is easy now to just improve your leadership skills and quickly become one of them, so rules are not followed very much.

Moreover, one of the main reasons for this, is that in the past there was a concept says:only old people can become leaders, youger ones have to learn and work very hard to do so.Also, the education now have developed so much and to gain new skills depend on you becaus there is now leadership programs that you can join.

In conclusion, I belive that there should be a school for improving all kind of skills.

Word Count: 254

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

there: 6

leaders: 4

become: 4

learn: 3

skills: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing reasons for younger leaders and whether it is a positive or negative development. However, the position is not clearly developed, and the ideas lack focus and sufficient support. The response includes some relevant points, such as changes in education and leadership opportunities, but these are not fully explained or logically connected. There is also some repetition and a lack of clarity in the argument. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea with specific examples or evidence. Organize the essay into distinct sections for reasons and evaluation, and avoid vague statements. The conclusion should summarize the key points and clearly state your overall position on the development.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the flow of ideas is often disrupted. The introduction states the essay will discuss reasons and whether it is positive or negative, but the body paragraphs mix advantages and reasons without clear separation. Cohesive devices are used sparingly and sometimes inappropriately (e.g., 'On the other hand' is used to introduce a reason rather than a contrast). Paragraphing could be improved to better organize ideas. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks range and precision. There are some good attempts at using less common words (e.g., 'mature', 'creative', 'work-life balance'), but there are also errors and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'the old times', 'youger ones', 'all kind of skills'). The essay would benefit from using more specific and varied vocabulary related to leadership and development. For example, instead of 'amazing', use 'encouraging' or 'promising'; instead of 'improve your leadership skills', use 'develop leadership competencies'. Avoid informal language like 'a lot' and 'very much'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. There are problems with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the education now have developed'), incorrect word forms (e.g., 'learing' for 'learning', 'belive' for 'believe'), and run-on sentences. Sentence structures are mostly simple or compound, with limited use of complex sentences. Punctuation, especially commas and periods, is often missing or misused. To improve, focus on basic grammar rules, such as verb tenses and subject-verb agreement. Practice writing a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences with subordinate clauses. Proofread carefully to correct spelling and punctuation errors.

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