Opinion

Band 5+: The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

The chart depicts the information about the percentage of people that were born in and outside of Australia in city, village and town from the year 1995 to 2010. At a glance, the percentage of city people born in and outside of Australia was the highest during the year 1995 to 2010.

To begin with, the number of people that were born in the cities of Australia in the year 1995 was around 50% compared to the year 2010 which was just above 60%. For the year 1995, the people born in towns of Australia were 20% and roughly 30% for rural areas, whereas in the year 2010 both were under 20%. Moreover, the percentage of people born outside of Australia in the year 2010 was 20% higher than in the year 1995. For the year 1995, the people born in rural area outside of Australia was more than double compare to people which were born in towns. Lastly, the people born outside of Australia in the year 2010 for towns and rural areas was very low.

Overall, the percentage of people born in and outside of Australia in the cities during the year 1995 to 2010 have gradually increased, and for rural areas it has decreased to a large extent.

Word Count: 211

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 9

australia: 8

outside: 6

percentage: 4

rural: 4

towns: 3

areas: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

5.5

The essay adequately summarizes the main features of the bar chart and makes relevant comparisons. The information is presented clearly, but there is room for further development and exploration of the data. To improve, consider providing more specific details and comparisons between the different categories over the entire period from 1995 to 2010. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

5.5

The essay is generally well-organized and coherent. The ideas are presented in a logical sequence, and the overall message is clear. However, there are a few instances where the coherence could be improved by using more cohesive devices such as transition words and phrases to better connect the ideas and improve the flow of the essay.

Lexical Resource

5.5

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, and the words are generally used accurately. There is evidence of some less common vocabulary and idiomatic expressions. To enhance lexical resource, try incorporating more varied and precise vocabulary related to demographic changes and percentages to add depth and sophistication to the essay.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

5.5

The essay exhibits a wide range of grammatical structures with mostly accurate and appropriate use of punctuation and grammar. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and minor grammatical errors. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure to ensure greater grammatical accuracy.

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Coherence & Cohesion

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Essays On The Same Topic:

Other Topics:

In many countries, a small number of people have extremely high annual incomes. These people should be required to pay a much higher rate of income tax. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Children are generally more successful in foreign language studies than adults. Thus, it is better to learn languages in childhood. Do you agree or disagree?

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Children are generally more successful in foreign language studies than adults. Thus, it is better to learn languages in childhood. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Children are generally more successful in foreign language studies than adults. Thus, it is better to learn languages in childhood. Do you agree or disagree?

Some believe that students should be taught the importance of competition, while others think that teamwork is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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