Opinion

Band 6+: The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest resources in its young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest in its young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Nowadays, many people believe that the optimal way to prepare a country for the future is to invest in its youth. I strongly agree with this point of view and we will discuss this viewpoint here.

On the one hand, young people are often the foundation of a country’s growth. Many people from the younger generation with adequate resources and environment may grow up to be leaders, important personnel and people contributing to the country. And as the leaders and people from the former generation grow older and retire, it is important that there are available replacements to ensure the growth of the country, which is why young people are integral to the country’s future. For example, with the appropriate amount of investment, the younger generation is able to develop into aspiring future scientists, developing new ideas regarding cancer treatment and preventing diseases such as Covid-19.

On the other hand, over-investing in young people may create a larger burden on a country’s younger generation. All countries in the world are currently facing several issues, such as climate change or increasing conflict either within the country or multilateral. Therefore, investing in the younger generation despite such problems also means neglecting the country’s own problems, while also placing more pressure on young people to resolve the issues of the older generations. For instance, young people of many nations have to be the one to pay off national debt, while politicians from the former generations got to spend money and resources of the country without care, as they have already passed their responsibility to the younger generation.

In conclusion, while investing in the younger generation may cause some adverse effects, I believe it is still important to give young people opportunities to grow for the country’s benefit. Investing in young people is one of the best possible ways to prepare a country’s future.

Word Count: 336

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 12

young: 8

country: 6

country's: 6

younger: 6

generation: 6

future: 5

prepare: 3

important: 3

investing: 3

while: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt and presents a clear position throughout the response. The writer successfully explores both the benefits of investing in youth and the potential drawbacks (the burden placed on them). However, the development of ideas could be more precise. In the second body paragraph, the argument regarding 'over-investing' is slightly confusing; the writer suggests that investing in youth might lead to neglecting other problems, but the connection between 'investment' and 'neglect' could be more logically articulated. To improve, ensure that each supporting point directly reinforces the central argument without introducing tangential complexities that might weaken the clarity of the position. Additionally, refining the transition between the idea of 'investment' and the 'burden of debt' would create a more cohesive argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The progression of ideas is easy to follow. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive (e.g., 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand'). To improve, try to use more sophisticated linking phrases and ensure that the transition between the idea of 'investing in youth' and the 'burden on youth' in the second body paragraph is more seamless. Additionally, avoid phrases like 'we will discuss this viewpoint here' in the introduction, as it is a bit mechanical; instead, briefly outline your main arguments.

Lexical Resource

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary, using terms like 'integral', 'aspiring', 'multilateral', and 'adverse effects' correctly. To reach a higher band, aim for more precision and variety. For example, instead of repeating 'young people' or 'younger generation' frequently, you could use synonyms such as 'adolescents', 'the youth population', or 'the rising generation'. Some phrasing, such as 'people contributing to the country', is a bit vague and could be replaced with more specific terms like 'productive members of society' or 'skilled professionals'. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay shows a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most sentences are error-free and convey meaning clearly. There are minor issues with phrasing and article usage (e.g., 'the one to pay off' should be 'the ones to pay off'). To improve, focus on refining your sentence structures to ensure they flow more naturally. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and the use of plural nouns when speaking about general groups of people.

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Band 6+: The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest resources in its young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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