Opinion

Band 5+: The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

The given graph illustrates the proportion of Asian citizens settling in the urban area of different countries between 1970 and 2020, with anticipations for 2030 and 2040. Overall, the graph depicts an upward trend in the inhabitants of the countries selected. Also, the predictions imply the consistency of this trend albeit varying rates in the up-coming years.

Starting at approximately 30%, which was the highest figure in January, the urban populations of Philippines and Malaysia converged to 50% in 1990. However, for the next 20 years, while the figure for Malaysia proceeded to increase gradually by 10%, that of Philippines experienced a sudden fall to 45%. A close convergence occurred in Thailand and Indonesia at 30% in 2000; thereafter, Indonesia and Thailand continued to experience similar pattern compared to two other countries, with the former grew by a consistent rate of 10%, overtaking Indonesia to become the third most populated country whilst the latter staying the same until 2020.

Regarding the projections, both figures for Philippines and Indonesia are expected to continuously undergo slow increase to 80% and 60%, respectively. There was also a steady rise in the Thailand and Indonesia, with each peaking at 50% and 45% in the order given.

Word Count: 202

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

indonesia: 5

countries: 3

philippines: 3

thailand: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay provides a good overview of the main features of the graph and makes relevant comparisons. The trends and changes over time are well described. However, there are some minor lapses in content, such as inaccuracies in the data (e.g., the highest figure in 1970 was not approximately 30%). Additionally, the essay could benefit from a more detailed comparison of the predictions for 2030 and 2040. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is generally easy to follow, with a clear structure and logical progression of ideas. However, there are a few instances where the use of cohesive devices could be improved to enhance the overall coherence. Additionally, the essay would benefit from more varied transitions and linking words to improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a wide range of vocabulary, with generally accurate and appropriate use of lexical features. There is evidence of some sophisticated control of language, but a few minor inaccuracies and repetitions are present. Consider using more diverse synonyms and expressions to further enhance the lexical resource.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

A wide range of grammatical structures is used with flexibility and control. The essay exhibits mostly accurate use of punctuation and grammar throughout. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and minor errors in subject-verb agreement that could be improved.

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