Opinion

Band 4+: The maps below show the changes in the art gallery ground floor in 2005 and present day.

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The provided two maps illustrate information about the transformations in the plan of the art gallery ground floor in 2005 and as it is now.

Overall, the layout has experienced proposed changes in services and facilities such as a gallery shop, children’s area, a ramp for wheelchair, keeping some developments intact from previous time period for public convenience.

In 2005, receptionist was used to be almost centre of the plan, which has now moved to the centre. Followed by entrance, a new entrance hall has been added and stairs at the top have remained unchanged. To the right side, there used to be three Exhibition Room sequentially from bottom to top have not changed instead a new lift has been added adjacent to the Exhibition Room 3.

After analyzing the plan in detail, a cafe has been repalce with a gallery shop and vending machine gas been added in the place of a gallery office. To the left bottom side, there used to be the Exhibition Room 4, which has now been parted into the temperory exhibition and the children area.

Word Count: 181

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

gallery: 4

exhibition: 4

added: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The response addresses the main parts of the prompt by describing the changes to the art gallery. A position is presented by outlining the overall changes. However, the description of the changes lacks clarity in some areas. To improve, focus on providing more specific details and using more precise language to describe the location and nature of the changes. Also, ensure that the overview provides a clearer summary of the most significant changes. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a general overview, but the organization could be improved for clarity. The flow of information is sometimes difficult to follow due to abrupt transitions and a lack of clear connections between ideas. Consider using more cohesive devices (e.g., transition words, pronouns) to link sentences and paragraphs. Paragraphing could also be more effectively managed to group related information together.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise and natural. For example, phrases like 'proposed changes in services and facilities' could be rephrased for better clarity. Focus on using synonyms and varied vocabulary to describe the changes, and ensure that the words you choose accurately reflect the information presented in the maps. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense consistency ('receptionist was used to be'), sentence structure, and article usage. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and the proper use of articles (a, an, the). Review basic grammar rules and practice writing simple and complex sentences accurately.

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Lexical Resource

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