Opinion

Band 4+: The rise of social media has led to a decline in face-to-face communication and a potential increase in social isolation. What problems does this pose for individuals and society, and what measures can be taken to promote more meaningful social interactions?

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Social Connections now days becomes a vital problem in the human race, the key actors for this is using execive social media and using device more than they need. In this essay we will demonstrate how and why this effect on community well-being , what are the reasons and what actions we could take.

Firstly, social media nowdays is very easy to get for all the age people. From childern to old people everyone is using social media. However. it initially aims to connect people from wider network but it became an evil to next door communication. People often active on socials for 16-18 hours but they dont even communcate in person the whole day, sometimes they dont even talk with their parents at home for days. This kind of act lead to mental illness and many youth suffer loneliness depretion as they cant communicate properly in schools and workplaces.

Secondly,Using device more then they need also play a crucial role in this matter. When there was no access to the device people used to walk around and tries to communicate with there sorrounding whereas now they download movies, series , and games to pass their leisure that also harms their social skills.

To conclude, there are sevarel reason for decline in face to face interactions , which may have negetive effects on community well being we discuss 2 main reasons. To omit this, people should work on their screan time and spend quality time with familly and friends without just using social media and movies on the device>

Word Count: 259

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

social: 6

people: 6

using: 4

media: 4

their: 4

device: 3

there: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by identifying reasons for the decline in face-to-face interactions (excessive social media use and device usage) and suggests actions (reducing screen time and spending quality time with family/friends). However, the response is incomplete as it lacks a clear, developed position and the actions are only briefly mentioned in the conclusion. The main ideas are limited and not sufficiently developed, with some repetition and lack of clarity. To improve, provide a more structured argument with specific examples and elaborate on the suggested actions, ensuring each part of the prompt is fully addressed.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the flow is often disrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The introduction presents the topic and outlines the essay, but the transition to the body paragraphs is abrupt. The first body paragraph discusses social media usage, and the second discusses device usage, but the connection between them is not explicitly stated. The conclusion summarizes the main points but introduces new ideas (solutions) without development. Cohesive devices are used sparingly and sometimes incorrectly (e.g., 'However.'). Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively managed to improve readability.

Lexical Resource

The essay attempts to use a range of vocabulary, but there are many errors in word choice and spelling (e.g., 'execive' for 'excessive', 'communacate' for 'communicate', 'depretion' for 'depression', 'negetive' for 'negative', 'screan' for 'screen', 'familly' for 'family'). Some phrases are informal or inappropriate for academic writing (e.g., 'vital problem', 'evil to next door communication'). The range of vocabulary is limited, and there is repetition of basic words. To improve, the writer should expand their vocabulary and ensure correct spelling and word forms. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that impede understanding. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Social Connections now days becomes'), incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'it initially aims' should be 'it initially aimed'), missing articles (e.g., 'the key actors for this is'), and incorrect prepositions (e.g., 'active on socials' should be 'active on social media'). Punctuation is often incorrect, such as the misuse of periods and commas (e.g., 'However. it initially aims'). The sentence structures are mostly simple and repetitive, with limited use of complex sentences. To improve, the writer should focus on grammar accuracy and sentence variety.

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