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Band 4+: Today, TV channels show more men's sports than women's sports. Why is this the case? Should TV channels give equal time for women's sport and men's sport?

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Nowadays,TV channels show more men’s sport than women’s,a lot of people cannot understand why they do like this and argue, that they need to show both genres sport equally.

Everyone aware, that currently in TV channels provide more about men’s sport than women’s sport.Today,people can take a part in certain types of sports which they want,and genre is not matter.For intance,there are 30% of women football groups,and females who interest with it,can easily join it,but in the past they could not.However it is obvious that men’s sport groups are more than females,because in the past women percentage who enjoy sport was very little,but their number increase gradually.Most of TV chanels do not want to show female’s sport,because there are little percentage of individuals who want watch it,and they believe that female’s sports are not popular.

Currently,female’s number who interest with sports increase gradually,people should try to increase it even more,because females play important role in society,they are the genre who increase the human’s number in the world.Sport is very valuble thing on people’s health, including females.For increasing the proportion of women’s who take a part on sports,TV channels are really helpful,people who watch sports on TV will start interest with it and proportion of individuals who want to take a part on it will increase significantly.That is why, they have to give equall time for women’s sport and men’s sport.Not only men’s health is important,but also women’s health.

To counclude,it is not honest that TV chanels provide more men’s sport than women’s sports,because today,individuals number who enjoy watching female’s sport and women who want to take a part on it become more and more.

Word Count: 274

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sport: 8

men's: 6

women's: 5

increase: 5

sports: 4

number: 4

channels: 3

women: 3

interest: 3

female's: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and could be more developed. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the reasoning behind your claims. Also, ensure that your arguments are logically structured and easy to follow.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. Paragraphing is present, but could be used more effectively to separate distinct points. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are often weak or absent, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. Consider using more cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, synonyms) to link ideas and improve the flow of the essay. For example, clarify the relationship between the increasing participation of women in sports and the need for equal TV coverage.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of inaccurate word choice. Some words are used repetitively (e.g., 'sport,' 'females,' 'increase'), which affects the overall quality of the writing. To improve, try to use a wider variety of vocabulary and pay attention to the precise meaning of words. Use a thesaurus to find synonyms and avoid repetition. Also, focus on using more specific and descriptive language to convey your ideas more effectively. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and errors in article usage. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear, making it difficult to understand the intended meaning. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Practice writing simple sentences and gradually progress to more complex structures. Proofread carefully for errors and consider using grammar-checking tools to identify and correct mistakes. Pay close attention to punctuation, which is often missing or used incorrectly.

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