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Band 5+: : We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

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Nowadays, the vast majority of individuals rely heavily on digital devices in their daily routines.

Regarding the future,in my opinion, technology will become more progressive than now.Many people will not imagine their lives without these tools, because everything will work with artificial intelligence.For instance, in a few years self-driving cars are likely to develop into.Moreover, digital solutions may help in the hospitals to treat serious issues and protect people’s health.

Turning to the impact,from my point of view, it has benefits and drawbacks.On the one hand, everyone can find whatever they want by using digital devices,For example, news about the world or educational videos.On the other hand, people might become too lazy as they stop doing basic tasks manually, which can lead to health problems like obesity.

Furthermore,humans will lose face-to-face communication, owing to thay it will be difficult to understand each other’s emotions.

To sum up,technology is an essential part of our lives.It can help us whenever we want.However,we have to find a balance between real life and the digital world.

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

digital: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The ideas are relevant, but there could be more focus and precision in supporting them. To improve, consider providing more specific examples and elaborating on the potential consequences of increased dependence on technology. Also, ensure a balanced discussion of both the positive and negative impacts with well-supported arguments. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates an adequate arrangement of ideas into paragraphs, but the flow between sentences and paragraphs could be improved. Transitions are present but not always effective in clearly linking ideas. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the logical progression of your arguments. For example, in the second paragraph, the transition to the example of self-driving cars could be smoother. In the third paragraph, the connection between the points about finding information and potential laziness could be more explicitly linked.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to express ideas, but there's room for improvement in using more precise and sophisticated language. Some phrases are a bit generic (e.g., 'digital devices,' 'serious issues'). Try to incorporate more specific and nuanced vocabulary to elevate the writing. For instance, instead of 'digital devices,' you could use terms like 'smartphones,' 'tablets,' or 'wearable technology,' depending on the context. Also, explore synonyms for overused words to add variety. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are noticeable and impact clarity. There are issues with sentence formation, word choice, and punctuation. For example, 'in a few years self-driving cars are likely to develop into' is awkwardly phrased. 'owing to thay it will be difficult' contains a spelling error and incorrect word usage. Focus on proofreading carefully to identify and correct these errors. Practice using a wider range of grammatical structures with greater accuracy.

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