Opinion

Band 4+: With the rise of online education, some predict traditional universities will become obsolete. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What might be the unintended consequences of such a shift?

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I disagree with this one. I believe that the online education will compliment the existing system of the traditional universities. With the rise of younger generations, education system suppose to accomodate everyone. The traditional on-site learning might be facing difficulties in accomodating the wave of the new students. Therefore, online learning might be helpful to bring them to learn from everywhere through their gadget. This might be helfpul also for students from remote areas that have limited access towards major cities which universities are usually located at.

However, the drawback from it should be reconsider since different learning environment will affect how student learn the subjects. Online education might be unbeneficial for students who are lazy and like to skip online classes or cheat on online exam by looking for the answer online. Some practical sessions, like laboratory experiment, are also can not be done through online learning.

In the end, I still believe that online learning is really helpful with university learning. Nevertheless, lecturers should manage it responsibly to avoid the potential drawbacks from it.

Word Count: 176

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

online: 8

learning: 5

might: 4

education: 3

students: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. The main ideas are relevant but lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the potential benefits and drawbacks of online education. Also, ensure a clearer focus and more precise support for your ideas. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay's structure is somewhat discernible, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas within paragraphs is often disjointed, making it difficult to follow the argument. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak or absent, hindering the overall coherence. Paragraphing could be improved to better group related ideas and enhance clarity. Consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your reasoning.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and lacks precision. There is limited evidence of a wide range of vocabulary, and some word choices are not entirely appropriate for academic writing. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using more specific and nuanced language. Pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions to enhance the naturalness of your writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors significantly impede understanding and detract from the overall quality of the writing. Focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors before submitting your work. Consider seeking feedback from a language tutor or using grammar-checking tools to improve your accuracy.

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