Line Graph

Band 6+: The chart below shows the percentage of Australian people who were born in different places of the world.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the percentage of Australian people who were born in different places of the world.

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The image displays a line graph depicting percentage of Australian residents born abroad across five years: in 1976, the percentages were Total 25, UK 14, Other 8, Asia 1; in 1981 Total 23, UK 12, Other 9, Asia 2; in 1986 Total 22, UK 10, Other 10, Asia 3; in 1991 Total 22, UK 9, Other 11, Asia 4; in 1996 Total 23, UK 8, Other 12, Asia 5; in 2001 Total 25, UK 8, Other 12, Asia 6; in 2006 Total 26, UK 7, Other 13, Asia 8; in 2011 Total 27, UK 6, Other 14, Asia 10.

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The line graph illustrates data about the percentage of people who are being Australian but were born in different parts of the world from 1976 to 2011.

Overall, the total number of Australians in this period of time was slightly decreased. However then start to increase in the last part of the time.

There were a significant increase in Asia which was keep going to the 15 percentage of Australian in 2011. In contrast, in UK this number dramatically dropped from about 15 percentage to only 5 percentage of the total proportion. In other places in the world in 1976 this percentages of Australians decreased until 1996 and then started to rose slightly to 2011. In total proportion of Australian people around the world dramatically dropped from about 30 percentage to over 20 percentage in 1986. After that the number climbed considerably from 1991 to 2011.

Word Count: 146

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percentage: 6

about: 3

australian: 3

world: 3

total: 3

number: 3

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Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies and a lack of clarity. The overall trends are mentioned, but the description of specific data points and changes could be more precise. The language used is not always accurate or clear, and there are some grammatical errors. To improve, focus on providing more specific data and using more precise language to describe the trends. Also, ensure that the grammar and vocabulary are accurate and appropriate for academic writing. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview and attempts to highlight key trends, but the organization could be improved for better clarity. The flow of information is somewhat disjointed, and the transitions between different trends could be smoother. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and ensure a logical progression of information. Paragraphing is adequate but could be refined to better group related information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there is room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Some phrases are a bit repetitive or could be expressed more concisely. Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to trends and changes over time to enhance the sophistication of the language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Sentence structure is generally simple, and there is limited use of complex sentence structures. Focus on improving grammatical accuracy and incorporating a wider range of sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of the writing.

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