Letter

Band 6+: You are organizing a charity fundraising event for a local cause and need to reach out to potential volunteers. Write a letter to a local business or community member asking for their support and assistance with the event. You should include details about: - the purpose and goals of the fundraising event - the different volunteer roles available and how they can contribute - the date, time, and location of the event

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Dear Sir,

I am writing to inform you that I am about to start charity fundraising. The purpose of this charity is to set up a gym for the people, which will help people to increase their fitness level.

The purpose of organising this charity programme is to gather money to build a gym for the individuals. In this way people will go to the gym free of cost; as a result, the obesity level in people will reduce, and it will also help to maintain their health.

There are several roles available to complete this project. The first role is related to the finance manager to monitor the budget. The second position is supervisor; the purpose of this designation is to provide assistance to staff members if they face any problems during the project.

I live in Gulistan-e-Jauhar in Karachi, which is the central part of the city. The charity event will occur on 17 October in a park. For the donation, you can donate money to our bank account.

I am looking forward to your participation.

Yours faithfully,

Shaikh Najam

Word Count: 182

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

charity: 4

people: 4

purpose: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task by outlining the purpose of the fundraising event and mentioning volunteer roles. However, it includes some irrelevant information and lacks specific details. To improve, provide more concrete details about the event, the volunteer roles, and the local cause. Also, ensure the tone is more persuasive and engaging to encourage support.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally understandable, but the organization could be improved. Consider using more explicit transitions between ideas and paragraphs to guide the reader. For example, you could start a new paragraph when introducing the specific volunteer roles. Also, the flow of information could be smoother by grouping related ideas together.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement. Try to use more varied and specific language to describe the event and the roles available. For instance, instead of just saying 'finance manager,' you could say 'financial coordinator responsible for managing donations and expenses.' Using more precise language will make your letter more engaging and persuasive.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The grammar is mostly correct, but there are some errors that affect clarity. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage ('a' vs. 'the'), and sentence structure. For example, rephrase sentences like 'The purpose of this charity is to set up a gym for the people' to 'The aim of this fundraising is to establish a community gym.' Proofreading carefully will help you catch these errors.

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