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Band 6+: the line graph which i wrote when i get bored

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The image illustrates average carbon dioxide emissions per person (1967-2007), starting with United Kingdom: 1967 (10.5 metric tonnes), 1972 (10.8 metric tonnes), 1977 (11 metric tonnes), 1982 (9.9 metric tonnes), 1987 (9.8 metric tonnes), 1992 (9.4 metric tonnes), 1997 (9.1 metric tonnes), 2002 (9 metric tonnes), 2007 (8.5 metric tonnes); Sweden: 1967 (8.9 metric tonnes), 1972 (10 metric tonnes), 1977 (10.4 metric tonnes), 1982 (8.3 metric tonnes), 1987 (7.6 metric tonnes), 1992 (6.5 metric tonnes), 1997 (6 metric tonnes), 2002 (5.4 metric tonnes), 2007 (5 metric tonnes); Italy: 1967 (4 metric tonnes), 1972 (5.5 metric tonnes), 1977 (6.5 metric tonnes), 1982 (7 metric tonnes), 1987 (7.8 metric tonnes), 1992 (8 metric tonnes), 1997 (8.1 metric tonnes), 2002 (8 metric tonnes), 2007 (7.8 metric tonnes); Portugal: 1967 (1.5 metric tonnes), 1972 (2 metric tonnes), 1977 (3 metric tonnes), 1982 (3.9 metric tonnes), 1987 (4.9 metric tonnes), 1992 (5.1 metric tonnes), 1997 (5.7 metric tonnes), 2002 (6.3 metric tonnes), 2007 (5.8 metric tonnes).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph illustrates the amount of carbon dioxide emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.

Overall, the emissions of all four countries fluctuated over the period,but Italy and Portugal showed a clear upward trend, while UK and Sweden experienced a significant fall.

In detail, at the start of the period, the highest emission was in UK for 11 tones, but over the period decreased to 9 tones in average. The same result showed in Sweden. In 1967 the average amount of emission was 8 tones, after several years it increased to 10, but declined by 2007 to 5.

In contrast, Italy rose steadily. For instance, in the beggining of period, there were 4 tones of emissions, but by the end it went up to 7. Moving to Portugal, there was a sharp increase, in 1967 the output of carbon dioxide in total were 2 tones, so by 2007 it grew to 5 tones, and stayed on par with Sweden. Despite of all this changes between four countries, UK stayed on the top of chart.

Word Count: 182

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

tones: 6

sweden: 4

emissions: 3

italy: 3

portugal: 3

period: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and key features of the graph, providing a general overview of the carbon dioxide emissions in the four countries. However, there are some areas for improvement. The report could benefit from more precise data referencing to support the described trends. For example, instead of saying 'the highest emission was in UK for 11 tones', specify the year (1977). Also, the analysis could be more comprehensive by comparing and contrasting the changes in emissions between the countries more explicitly. The language is generally clear, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that could be refined for better clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a generally clear overview of the data, but the organization could be improved for better flow. The 'Overall' paragraph provides a good summary, but the subsequent paragraphs sometimes lack clear transitions between countries and time periods. Consider using more explicit linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the information. For example, when transitioning from Sweden to Italy, you could use a phrase like 'In contrast to Sweden...' or 'Turning to Italy...'. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect or comparison to maintain coherence.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends and comparisons. However, there are opportunities to use more precise and varied language. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'increased' or 'decreased,' consider alternatives like 'rose,' 'grew,' 'declined,' 'fell,' or 'diminished.' Also, try to incorporate more specific vocabulary related to emissions, such as 'carbon footprint' or 'emission levels.' Improving the precision and variety of your vocabulary will enhance the clarity and sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. For example, 'the highest emission was in UK for 11 tones' should be 'the highest emission was in the UK, at 11 tonnes.' Similarly, 'the same result showed in Sweden' could be improved to 'Sweden showed a similar trend.' Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate preposition usage. Reviewing and correcting these errors will significantly improve the grammatical accuracy of your writing.

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Band 6+: the line graph which i wrote when i get bored

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the line graph which i wrote when i get bored

the line graph which i wrote when i get bored

the line graph which i wrote when i get bored

the line graph which i wrote when i get bored

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