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Band 4+: The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003.

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The image shows a table of the average retirement age for men and women in six countries in 2003; in Australia men retire at 64 years and 1 month, women at 63 years and 5 months; USA men at 65 years and 6 months, women at 64 years and 9 months; Japan men at 67 years and 4 months, women at 66 years and 2 months; Italy men at 58 years and 2 months, women at 57 years and 3 months; France men at 57 years and 4 months, women at 56 years and 9 months; Korea men at 68 years and 8 months, women at 67 years and 2 months.

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The table provide information about the average retirement age of men and women in six countries:Australia,the United States,Japan,Italy,France,and Korea.

Overall,it is evident that the largest average retirement age of both sexes was in Korea,while the smallest number illustrated France in both genders.

In Japan and Korea average ages of people almost same,age of males and women 67 and 1 months,68 and 8months respectively,as for females 66 and 9months,67 and 2 months respectively.Similarly,in Australia and in the United States was also same,males average age approximately 65,women’s age nearly to 64.

In terms of Italy and France,average retirement age of males in France was almost 57 and 4 months,while women’s age just ander 57.In Italy,males average retirement age 58 and 2 months,whereas women’s age retirement similar with males,namely 57 and 3 months.

Word Count: 130

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

average: 5

retirement: 5

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Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the information about the average retirement age of males and females in six countries. The overview is clear, and the main features of the data are identified. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported and some minor omissions. To improve, ensure all data points are accurately represented and consider including more specific comparisons or contrasts between countries to enhance the analysis. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat clear, but the lack of cohesive devices and inaccurate referencing makes it difficult to follow the information. Paragraphing could be improved to group related information more effectively. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas and sentences more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, limiting the precision and sophistication of the description. There is an attempt to use comparative language, but it is not always accurate or effective. Expand your vocabulary related to comparisons and trends to provide a more nuanced and detailed analysis.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. These errors significantly impede understanding. Focus on improving your understanding and application of basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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Band 4+: The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003.

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003.

The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003.

The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003.

The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003.

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The chart below shows the primary hobbies of the adult residents in a small Tunisian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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