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Band 4+: The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003.

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Image for topic: The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003.

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The image shows a table of the average retirement age for men and women in six countries in 2003; in Australia men retire at 64 years and 1 month, women at 63 years and 5 months; USA men at 65 years and 6 months, women at 64 years and 9 months; Japan men at 67 years and 4 months, women at 66 years and 2 months; Italy men at 58 years and 2 months, women at 57 years and 3 months; France men at 57 years and 4 months, women at 56 years and 9 months; Korea men at 68 years and 8 months, women at 67 years and 2 months.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart compares the average age at which men and women retired in six countries in 2003.

Overall,the retirement age for male workers is higher

than that of female workers in all six countries. Korea exhibits the largest gap in retirement age,whereas Australia has the smallest gap.

Korea has the highest retirement age of men and women about 68 years and 8 months for men while the age of women is 18 months lower than men.And it is followed by Japan and Italy with two duplicate values are 67 years,4 months for the male workers and 66 years,9 months for the female

Word Count: 102

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

months: 4

women: 3

retirement: 3

workers: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some key features of the data, such as the overall trend of men retiring later than women and the countries with the highest and lowest retirement ages. However, the description lacks sufficient detail and accuracy. For example, the report mentions duplicate values for Japan and Italy, but the values provided are not entirely accurate. To improve, provide more specific data points and ensure accuracy in reporting the values. Also, include more comparisons between countries and genders to provide a more comprehensive overview. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear paragraphing and logical flow. The ideas are not well-connected, making it difficult to follow the comparison of retirement ages across different countries. Consider organizing the information into more distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the data, such as overall trends, specific countries, or comparisons between genders. Use cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, synonyms) to link sentences and paragraphs smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate but could be more precise and varied. For instance, instead of repeating 'retirement age,' try using synonyms like 'age of retirement' or 'retirement period.' Also, consider using more descriptive language to highlight the differences and similarities in retirement ages across countries. For example, instead of just stating that Korea has the highest retirement age, you could say 'Korea exhibits the highest average retirement age for both men and women.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, the sentence 'Korea has the highest retirement age of men and women about 68 years and 8 months for men while the age of women is 18 months lower than men' is awkwardly phrased and contains inaccuracies. Similarly, 'And it is followed by Japan and Italy with two duplicate values are 67 years,4 months for the male workers and 66 years,9 months for the female' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. Focus on improving sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of prepositions and articles. Proofread carefully to identify and correct these errors.

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Band 4+: The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003.

The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003.

The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003.

The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003.

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