Opinion

Band 5+: Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful, but they are also likely to suffer from negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, numerous people debate that extended working hours may offer higher economical benefits, but it weaken the society harmony by affecting the family bonding and mental peace. I completly agree with this statement and this essay will present key arguments to justify my opinion.

Firstly, longer hours devoted in professional work may promise higher economic benefits by fulfilling multiple task because of availability of larger time, but it leaves the worker exhausted. Hence the individual lefts with minimal energy and time for their families, which affects the family bonding over extended time. This leads to increased cases of divorces and family disparities. For instance, the number of divorce cases are increasing in Delhi because the working hours have been increased to fulfill task before deadlines.

Moreover, after working for a longer time, a person do not get time for recreational activities. This leads to monotonus and boring routine, resulting in disturbed mental harmony causing depression among workers. Furthermore, to escape from the work stress, youth takes the shade of drugs. Although this may results in instant stress relief, repeated drug usage may cause addiction. To illustarte, depression is ubiquitous problem among students and worker caused by stress. This may sometimes leads to suicidal cases among youth.

To conclude, extending the working hours may boosts the economic condition of a firm, but it negatively affects the mental wellbeing and social bonds of an individual. Hence, I firmly agree that longer working hours is negatively affecting the society and the individual.

Word Count: 249

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

working: 5

hours: 5

family: 3

mental: 3

longer: 3

individual: 3

leads: 3

cases: 3

among: 3

stress: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The ideas are relevant, but the supporting details could be more precise and focused. To improve, ensure each point is thoroughly explained and directly linked back to the prompt's core arguments about economic success and social consequences. Also, vary your vocabulary and sentence structure to enhance the essay's overall impact. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates a generally clear progression of ideas, but the connections between some sentences and paragraphs could be strengthened to improve the overall flow. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more explicitly. Paragraphing is adequate, but could be more skillfully managed to enhance the essay's structure.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses an adequate range of vocabulary, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise and natural. Expanding your vocabulary and focusing on using more sophisticated language appropriately would enhance this area. Pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions to make your writing sound more natural. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a fair range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors in grammar and punctuation that affect clarity. Focus on improving your accuracy in areas such as verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction will be beneficial.

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Band 5+: Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful, but they are also likely to suffer from negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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