Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart below shows the percentage of males and females with higher education qualifications in five countries in 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the percentage of males and females with higher education qualifications in five countries in 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows a horizontal bar chart with five countries: Japan (Females 30, Males 48), United States (Females 30, Males 39), Switzerland (Females 27, Males 45), Britain (Females 25, Males 38), Germany (Females 30, Males 35).

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The pie chart illustrates the percentage of men and women with higher education qualification in Japan, United States, Switzerland, Britain and Germany in 2001.

Overall, it is evident that German females and Swiss males had the highest rate of being highly educated, whereas Japanese women accounted for the lowest percentage.

To begin with, 40% of japanese males had higher education qualification, by contrast females accounted for 25% which is also the lowest in the chart. The American males stood at the same place as japanese males for higher education qualification, at 40%. American females had slightly lower higher education qualification than American males, reportingly 35%.Furthermore, Swiss females had 35% higher education qualification rate, by contrast swiss males higher education qualification accounted for 45%, which is also the highest in the chart combined witg german females.

In terms of Britain, 30% of british females were qualified as higher educated while percentage for males were slightly high than females, at 40%. Moreover, only 35% of German males were marked as highly educated.

Word Count: 170

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

males: 8

higher: 7

education: 6

qualification: 6

females: 6

chart: 3

german: 3

swiss: 3

educated: 3

japanese: 3

accounted: 3

american: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task, but there are several inaccuracies and omissions. The chart type is incorrectly identified as a pie chart. The overview identifies incorrect maximum values. The body paragraphs contain inaccurate data and some comparisons are missing. To improve, ensure you accurately identify the chart type, double-check the data provided, and include all countries in your summary.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has some issues with coherence and cohesion. The information is not always presented in a logical order, and the transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. For example, the comparison between Japanese and American males feels somewhat disjointed. Try to group similar data points together and use connecting words to link ideas more effectively. Also, the introduction mentions German females and Swiss males having the highest rates, which is inaccurate based on the provided data. Ensure the overview accurately reflects the main trends.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement. The report relies on repetitive phrases like 'higher education qualification' and 'accounted for.' Try to incorporate synonyms and varied sentence structures to enhance the lexical richness. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'higher education qualification,' you could use phrases like 'tertiary education,' 'university degree,' or 'post-secondary education.' Also, be careful with word choices; for example, 'reportingly' is not the most appropriate word in the context. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'females accounted'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing. For example, 'combined witg german females' is grammatically incorrect. Pay closer attention to sentence structure and ensure that your sentences are grammatically sound. Proofreading carefully before submitting your report can help identify and correct these errors. Also, the report incorrectly identifies the chart type as a 'pie chart' instead of a 'bar chart'.

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