Opinion

Band 7+: Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education.

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The inexorable march of crimes makes us wonder if prison is a designated place for criminals. While this perception continues to remain in some individuals’ minds, some stated that it is more efficient to provide people with a strengthened education system. This essay will dissect multiple aspects of how prison and a better education impact people.

Proponents of prison argue that lawbreakers should be dealt with in a disciplined place such as prison. The purposes of prisons are to create a barricade between the people who committed crimes with the citizens and to allow prisoners to reflect on themselves. An extremely important point in rehabilitating. Additionally, prison offers free training and employability skills such as teamwork. This trains them to acclimate to the outside world once they are discharged. Prisoners usually are rooted to cause crimes by their unstable minds, prison offers free counselling as being locked up in an indecent environment could be frustrating.

However, an uncountable number of prisoners would re-offend after they were released. The prison’s system only plays a small role in this as the issue usually occurs due to the difficulty of reintegration into the outside and the discrimination from the society. Hence, some individuals argue that education might be a more effective solution in reducing crime rates. The motives for criminals’ activities are usually rooted in underlying factors ranging from poverty to lack of access to education. As education equips individuals with knowledge and morality, it is crucial to allow every citizen to have the right to Therefore, governments are encouraged to provide free education to people with impoverished backgrounds. This increases opportunities for every citizen to be employed with a decent paid job, which will decrease crime rates.

In conclusion, although educational provision is likely to reduce crime rates, strict punishment might still be a more suitable choice as criminals are not just people who lack access to education but also people with unstable well-being.

Word Count: 322

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

education: 7

prison: 6

people: 5

crimes: 3

prisoners: 3

usually: 3

crime: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The main ideas are relevant, but there could be more focus and precision in supporting them. To improve, consider developing your arguments with more specific examples and evidence. Also, ensure a clearer connection between the points made about education and their direct impact on reducing crime.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear position and logically organizes ideas into paragraphs. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are generally smooth, contributing to the overall coherence. However, there are instances where the connection between ideas could be strengthened to enhance the flow of the argument. For example, in the second paragraph, elaborating further on how the training and employability skills offered in prison help prisoners acclimate to the outside world would improve cohesion. Similarly, in the third paragraph, providing specific examples of how education equips individuals with knowledge and morality would strengthen the argument.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, using appropriate words and phrases to convey meaning effectively. There are instances of more sophisticated vocabulary, such as 'inexorable march' and 'rehabilitating.' However, there are also some instances where the word choice could be more precise or natural. For example, 'strengthened education system' could be rephrased for better impact. Overall, the vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there is room for improvement in terms of precision and sophistication.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, with a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are noticeable grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect clarity. For example, the sentence 'An extremely important point in rehabilitating' is grammatically incomplete. Additionally, there are issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage throughout the essay. While the errors do not significantly impede understanding, they do detract from the overall quality of the writing. Focus on proofreading carefully to identify and correct grammatical errors, and pay attention to sentence structure and phrasing to ensure clarity and accuracy.

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Band 7+: Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education.

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Essays On The Same Topic:

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education.

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education.

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education.

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education.

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education.

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Many people think there is a general increase of anti-social behavior and a lack of respect to others. What do you think are the causes of this and how to improve the situation ?

Some people believe that schools should focus more on teaching practical skills, while others argue that academic knowledge is more important.

Some people think that certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree?

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social, and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures, and what measures should be taken to reduce them?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning a practical skill. Do you agree or disagree?

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