Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 6+: While fossil fuels are still the main source of energy for most countries, others have started to rely on renewable options such as wind and solar power. Is this an advantageous or disadvantageous trend?

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Opinions are divided on whether renewable resources should be useD more. In my opinion, I believe that the advantages outweigh its disadvantages.

On the one hand, there are several/SOME / certain drawbacks of using friendly sources. Firstly, the cost for installation and requiring qualified-experts is expensive. This means native authorities NEED TO buy devices which/THAT draws/GENERATE ENERGY FROM solar and wind sources,. AS A RESULT, they have to arrive/GO to developed countries because their technology innovates to manufacture high quality machines as well as their scientists have enough knowledge to implement installation. As a result, the countries which/THAT lack of finance conditions could not equip and use these devices, WHICH that causeS wasting natural source. Secondly, renewable energy hardly IS HARD to control because it depend to/ON nature. For example, in Ninh Thuan town, citizens construct big fans to transform INto wind energy but the amount of wind IS sometimes not enough to transform, so they could/CANNOT not depend on wind power.

On the other hand, the benefits of this practice are much more significant than its cons/DRAWBACKS. This action is environmentally friendly. Once/WHEN comparing/COMPARED with fossil fuels, people do not need to excavate or dig soil and rivers, which impacts on animals’s life. Also, this process can release toxic emmissions, causING harm for/TO locals and air contanmination. For instance, in Binh Thuan town, governments encourage locals to build solar cel/PANELS and they have a policy to buy electricity from households. Therefore, it will help protect environment and sustain valueABLE resources for THE next generations.

In conclusion, although some countries still use unfriendly resources, I believe that using natural resources will be a popular trend in the future for long-lasTing value of community.

Word Count: 283

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

resources: 4

energy: 3

countries: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The ideas are relevant, but there is some lack of precision in supporting them. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the potential impacts of the points you raise. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates an adequate arrangement of ideas into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the flow of ideas within paragraphs could be improved. Transitions between sentences and ideas sometimes feel abrupt, and the connections between them could be strengthened to enhance coherence. For example, in the first body paragraph, the link between the cost of installation and the need to go to developed countries could be made more explicit. Also, avoid using conversational expressions such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' too frequently, as it can make the writing sound repetitive. Instead, try to use a variety of transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to express ideas, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise and sophisticated. For example, using 'friendly sources' could be replaced with more specific terms like 'renewable energy sources' or 'sustainable energy options'. Additionally, there are a few instances of unnatural phrasing, such as 'draws energy from solar and wind sources,' which could be improved to 'generate energy from solar and wind sources'. Expanding your vocabulary and focusing on using more precise and nuanced language will enhance the overall quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common errors include incorrect verb tense ('should be useD'), subject-verb agreement ('countries which lack'), and preposition usage ('depend to nature'). There are also some issues with article usage and sentence structure that need attention. To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay close attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of prepositions and articles. Proofreading your work carefully will help you identify and correct these errors.

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Band 6+: While fossil fuels are still the main source of energy for most countries, others have started to rely on renewable options such as wind and solar power. Is this an advantageous or disadvantageous trend?

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Essays On The Same Topic:

While fossil fuels are still the main source of energy for most countries, others have started to rely on renewable options such as wind and solar power. Is this an advantageous or disadvantageous trend?

While fossil fuels are still the main source of energy for most countries, others have started to rely on renewable options such as wind and solar power. Is this an advantageous or disadvantageous trend?

Other Topics:

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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