Pie Chart

Band 5+: The charts below show the percentage of electricity used by different sectors in Eastern Australia in 2007 and 2010.

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Image for topic: The charts below show the percentage of electricity used by different sectors in Eastern Australia in 2007 and 2010.

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The image shows two pie charts comparing percentage data from 2007 and 2010 across categories: 2007 - Residential 28%, Commercial 23%, Aluminium 13%, Manufacturing 13%, Other Metals 12%, Mining 9%, Agriculture 1%, Transport 1%; 2010 - Residential 28%, Commercial 23%, Other Metals 18%, Aluminium 11%, Manufacturing 9%, Mining 9%, Agriculture 1%, Transport 1%.

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The pie chart below depicts the volume of the electricity usage in different spheres in Eastern Australia in 2007 and 2010. The quantities shown in percent.

Overall, it’s clearly seen that most of the units reminded same proportion over the years. Except aluminium, manufacturing sphere and for otehr metals.

All the untis that will be mentioned remained the same in the both years. Resedential sphere as 28 percent. Commercials as 23. The unchangabled agriculture that is used 1 percnet of the all usage and the tramsport which has the same proportion of usage as agriculture. The last of these is mining. The 9 percent of mining hadn’t changed at all over the years.

The aluminium used 13 and 11 part of the whole elecrticity in 2007 and 2010 respectively. The spendings of the manufacturing was also 13 in 2007. However, the volume experienced change from 13 to 9 percent. The consumption for the least metals was 12 in 2007. After 3 years the demaniding for these rised by 6 percent by making 18 percent of allocation.

Word Count: 176

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percent: 5

usage: 3

years: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some issues with organization and clarity. The overview is present but could be more concise and impactful. The body paragraphs contain relevant information, but the writing is somewhat repetitive and lacks precise language. To improve, focus on using a wider range of vocabulary, structuring the information more logically, and ensuring grammatical accuracy.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and transitions, making it difficult to follow the information presented. The introduction is weak, and the overview is not very informative. Paragraphing is present but doesn't effectively separate ideas. To improve coherence, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. A more concise and informative overview would also help.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and sometimes inaccurate ('volume' instead of 'percentage,' 'spheres' instead of 'sectors'). There are also instances of unnatural phrasing ('reminded same proportion,' 'unchangabled agriculture,' 'spendings of the manufacturing'). To improve lexical resource, focus on using more precise and varied vocabulary related to the topic of electricity consumption and data comparison. Pay attention to collocations and natural expressions. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('reminded' instead of 'remained'), subject-verb agreement issues ('units reminded'), incorrect article usage ('the electricity usage'), and awkward sentence structures. Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Proofread carefully for errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, article usage, and punctuation.

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