Line Graph

Band 4+: The line graph below gives information about men and women smokers in Bhutan from 1960 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The line graph below gives information about men and women smokers in Bhutan from 1960 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image displays a line graph titled "Men & Women Smokers in Bhutan (per 1000)" from 1960 to 2000 at intervals of 5 years; Men smokers: 1960-600, 1965-550, 1970-525, 1975-500, 1980-450, 1985-425, 1990-400, 1995-375, 2000-350; Women smokers: 1960-75, 1965-150, 1970-200, 1975-250, 1980-300, 1985-350, 1990-325, 1995-300, 2000-275.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The line graph shows information in men and women smokers in Bhutan over the period from 1960 to 2000.

Overall, there was a witness that sharp downward trend in men smokers, with the lowest point being recorded in women smokers at the end of the year.

At the beginning of the period, the smokers women stood at approximately 5000. It then rose gradually to reach 350000 by 1975. Moreover, it decline steadily at around 200000 in 2000, which exhibit only marginal varitaions.

On the other hand, the smokers men remain relatively stable untill 1975. After that, it experience a substantial decline from 500000 to 220000, before leveling off towards the end of the period.

By comparison, at initial period, smokers women considerably greater trend in the year 1975, while smokers men fall significantly throughout the period. After 1975, both gender shows a steady reduction.

Word Count: 144

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

smokers: 7

women: 4

period: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to describe the trends in the line graph but contains significant inaccuracies in the data reported. The numbers mentioned are wildly off from the actual values on the graph, which severely impacts the task achievement. The organization is somewhat present, but the inaccuracies overshadow any positive aspects. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data from the graph and double-check all numbers before including them in your report. Also, pay attention to units (per 1000) and avoid adding extra zeros. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear structure and logical flow. The information is not presented in a coherent manner, making it difficult to follow the trends and comparisons. Paragraphing is not effectively used to separate ideas. Use discourse markers to improve the flow of ideas and ensure each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the graph.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and sometimes inaccurate. There are instances of incorrect word choice and imprecise language. For example, using 'witness that sharp downward trend' is not idiomatic. Expand your vocabulary related to describing trends and data, such as 'plummeted,' 'fluctuated,' 'plateaued,' etc. Also, ensure accurate use of numbers and units.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect use of articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. For example, 'smokers women stood at approximately 5000' is grammatically incorrect. Focus on improving your understanding and application of basic grammar rules. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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