Opinion

Band 5+: The rise of social media has led to a decline in face-to-face communication and a potential increase in social isolation. What problems does this pose for individuals and society, and what measures can be taken to promote more meaningful social interactions?

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Digital media become widespresd over world and easy to access by anyone. Growing of media applications has made decrease in live meetings, and probably rise in social isolation. Setting front of media apps for long-term imapact negatively on family relations. It causes misunderstanding and dissociation among family individuals. However, presence several drawbacks but there is privilges like enable people to connect to each other by easily. Hence, once should monitors his conduct and declines number of hours in using social applications.

To begin with, using social apps for long time impact on school outcomes. To illustrate, when youngsters setting on front of devices too much time, it make attention deficiency through time. In addtion, it make children pron to be detached from their parents and friends. As a clear example, the child who prefer stay at home instead of playing football or hangout. It causes to dwarf relationship among people. Also parents will find difficult to communicate with their children due to busy by social media events. That indicates harmful of youngsters isolation.

Secondly, To reduce the social media detrimental effects ought to there is rigorous monitor from parents. For instance, decrease the times it waste by children on screens, and control in content what they watch it. consequently, the result will be positively reflect on youngester. Moreover, Government should track individuals conduct on social media websites. In other word, prevent the harmful content through band it. Also penalty who share detrimental postes it imapact on the society negatively .

In conclusion, increase using communication websites downsizing relation between people. However there are numerous drawbacks, but that does not prevent the social media benefits by using it by the right maner.

Word Count: 281

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

media: 7

social: 7

using: 4

there: 3

people: 3

children: 3

parents: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and could be more developed. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the potential solutions. Also, ensure that your arguments are logically structured and easy to follow.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some attempt at organization, but the ideas are not always logically connected, and the progression of thought is often difficult to follow. Paragraphing is present but could be improved to better separate and develop distinct points. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak, hindering the overall flow of the essay. For example, the shift from the general statement about media to family relations in the introduction feels abrupt. To improve coherence, focus on using clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that each sentence within the paragraph directly supports the main idea. Use cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'in contrast,' 'therefore') to link ideas and create a smoother transition between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of inaccurate word choice. The language used is often basic and lacks the precision needed to express complex ideas effectively. For example, phrases like 'setting front of media apps' and 'dwarf relationship' are not idiomatic and obscure the intended meaning. To enhance lexical resource, try to incorporate a wider variety of vocabulary related to the topic of social media and its impact. Focus on learning synonyms and collocations to express your ideas more accurately and naturally. Pay attention to the correct usage of words in context to avoid errors in word choice.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and errors in sentence structure. These errors frequently impede understanding and detract from the overall quality of the writing. For example, sentences like 'Digital media become widespresd over world' and 'However, presence several drawbacks but there is privilges' contain multiple grammatical errors. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Practice writing simple sentences and gradually incorporate more complex structures as your confidence grows. Proofread your work carefully to identify and correct errors in grammar and punctuation.

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