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Band 5+: the table below shows the percentage of mobile phone owners using various mobile features

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The image shows percentages of mobile phone owners using features: Make calls 100 (2006), 100 (2008), 99 (2010); Take photos 66 (2006), 71 (2008), 76 (2010); Send & receive text messages 73 (2006), 75 (2008), 79 (2010); Play games 17 (2006), 42 (2008), 41 (2010); Search the Internet no data (2006), 41 (2008), 73 (2010); Play music 12 (2006), 18 (2008), 26 (2010); Record video no data (2006), 9 (2008), 35 (2010).

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The table illustreate the percentage of mobile phone users using different mobile features.

Overall, it is cleare that there were shown percentage of features which were used by mobile phone owners, and the most highest percentage of phone owners used to make calls.

In 2006 the 100 % of mobile phone were used to making calls and taking photos which is show the highest figures. By contrast, there were marked increase in receiving text messages (73%). Moreover, users less consumed musics and games which accounted for 12% and 17%.There were no figures for internet searching and recording videos.

Over the 4 following years there were relatively little change in internet searching and reacording videos. There was increase in these features between 2008 and 2010. In 2008 internet searching jumped (42%) and recording videos rose to 18%. In 2010 mobile users used to making calls less rather than in 2006 and 2008 and the percentage fell by 1%.

Word Count: 157

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

mobile: 5

percentage: 4

phone: 4

there: 4

users: 3

which: 3

internet: 3

searching: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some areas for improvement. The organization is present but could be more structured for clarity. The report contains some inaccuracies and omissions. For example, the report states that in 2006, 100% of mobile phones were used for making calls and taking photos, but the table shows that only 66% were used for taking photos. Also, the report mentions that in 2008, internet searching jumped to 42% and recording videos rose to 18%, but the table shows that internet searching jumped to 41% and recording videos rose to 9%. To improve, ensure data accuracy and provide a more comprehensive overview, highlighting key trends and changes across all features and years.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. The introduction and overview are present, but the connections between sentences and paragraphs could be strengthened to improve the flow. Consider using more cohesive devices and transitional phrases to guide the reader through the information. Paragraphing could be improved by grouping related information more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are instances of inaccurate word choice ('cleare,' 'most highest'). To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary related to describing data and trends. Focus on using synonyms and paraphrasing to avoid repetition. Pay attention to the correct usage of words to ensure accuracy. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Errors include incorrect verb tenses ('illustreate,' 'were shown,' 'less consumed'), subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect use of articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is also somewhat basic. To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay close attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Vary sentence structure to enhance readability.

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