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Band 5+: The chart below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in four countries in 1970 and 2000.

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Image for topic: The chart below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in four countries in 1970 and 2000.

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The image shows two bar graphs depicting employment percentages for men and women aged 60-64 in four countries for 1970 and 2000. For men: Australia 1970 is 60%, 2000 is 47%; Japan 1970 is 80%, 2000 is 76%; USA 1970 is 55%, 2000 is 54%; Belgium 1970 is 19%, 2000 is 22%. For women: Australia 1970 is 10%, 2000 is 9%; Japan 1970 is 45%, 2000 is 41%; USA 1970 is 36%, 2000 is 37%; Belgium 1970 is 7%, 2000 is 6%.

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The figures illustrate the proportion of employees aged between 60 and 64 in four different countries, including Australia, Japan, USA, and Belgium in 1970 and 2000. Overall, it is apparent that particularly number of workers who were employed decreased significantly in 2000 and people in japan were employed the most,

Regarding the percentage of men employees, Australia experienced a dramatically drop approval 27 percent , falling to 47 percent while there was just a slightly decline in Japan from 84 percent to 76 percent. Additionally, the proportion in USA plummeted roughly 18 to just over a half. Meanwhile, the percentage in Belgium tumbled to just under one to five.

Moving on to the following chart, the percentage of workers grew negligibly in Australia whereas dropped marginally in Belgium. Moreover, Japan and USA experienced the different trends. While the percentage in Japan declined moderately to 40 percent, it shows the gradually increased in USA ,reaching 38 percent.

Word Count: 156

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percent: 6

japan: 5

percentage: 4

australia: 3

belgium: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies in the data reported and some issues with clarity and coherence. The organization is present but could be improved. To improve, ensure data accuracy by double-checking the figures provided in the graph. Also, focus on using more precise language and avoid vague terms like 'dramatically drop approval' or 'plummeted roughly 18'. Proofread carefully to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the flow of information is not always smooth. The 'overall' statement is vague and lacks specific details. Transitions between paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence. For example, the shift from discussing men to women lacks a clear connector. The report could benefit from clearer signposting to guide the reader through the data.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary, but some word choices are not entirely accurate or appropriate ('dramatically drop approval,' 'plummeted roughly 18'). There's an attempt to use varied language, but the execution is not always successful. Expanding the range of vocabulary and ensuring accurate usage would improve the report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. Sentence structure is sometimes awkward, and there are issues with verb tense and subject-verb agreement. For example, 'people in japan were employed the most' is grammatically incorrect. Correcting these errors and improving sentence structure would enhance the report's accuracy.

Answers On The Same Topic:

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Band 8+

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Band 5+: The chart below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in four countries in 1970 and 2000.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The chart below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in four countries in 1970 and 2000.

The chart below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in four countries in 1970 and 2000.

The chart below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in four countries in 1970 and 2000.

The chart below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in four countries in 1970 and 2000.

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