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Band 5+: Some people think governments should spend money looking for life on other planets, while others believe that there are many unsolved problems on Earth. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Some people believe government should spend money search for life on other planets, While some of them argue It is just a waste of public when it has problems on earth. This essay will discuss both view and give my own opinion.

Many people offer to investigate new life on other planets to live in the future. Because since modern technology has been developing our life there are some issues on earth. Things like factories and other tall building have been damaging our health. On the other hand, there are a lot of natural disasters that killing thousand people. People started worrying about droughting because of water obstructions that made by factories and trashes. In the result, they just hoping to find somewhere safe and fresh to live.

However, most people say government must spend money on earth instead of looking other planets. They wanted to improve life on earth rather than living other planets. Because all damages and obstructions caused by people. In other hand, they argue there are must be natural works that develop fresh air and life that depending many human’s health.The main reason that our life getting worse because of factories that killing animals, trees, important thing that we really need our life they should remove or built factories away from alive souls. For instance, animals have been suffering and disappearing because of dirty air and hunting they must spend money for them.

In conclusion, In my opinion no matter what we should save our earth because it’s our life and we’ve been living here. No one guarantee other life on the planets.

Word Count: 267

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

other: 8

people: 6

because: 6

planets: 5

earth: 5

factories: 4

should: 3

spend: 3

money: 3

there: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both views and providing an opinion. However, the ideas presented lack clarity and sufficient development. The arguments could be strengthened with more specific examples and a more focused approach. To improve, focus on developing each point with clearer explanations and relevant supporting evidence. Also, ensure a more balanced discussion of both viewpoints before stating your opinion.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay's structure is somewhat clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas within paragraphs is often disjointed, making it difficult to follow the arguments. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs need improvement to enhance coherence. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas and create a smoother reading experience. Paragraphing could be improved by focusing each paragraph on a single, clear idea.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and sometimes inaccurate, which limits the expression of ideas. There is a lack of precision in word choice, and some words are used inappropriately. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using more precise language. Pay attention to collocations and the appropriate context for different words. Reading widely and noting down new vocabulary in context can be beneficial. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect article usage. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Review grammar concepts and work on applying them correctly in your writing. Consider seeking feedback from a language tutor or using online resources to identify and correct errors.

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