Band 5+: Graph charts show various activities in a US office in 1980 , 2000

The report addresses the task, presenting the main features of the pie charts and making relevant comparisons. However, there are some areas for improvement. The introduction could be more precise by mentioning that the data is presented in pie chart format, not a bar chart. The overview is somewhat general; it could be improved by highlighting the most significant changes or trends observed between 1980 and 2000. While the body paragraphs cover the key data points, ensure that the comparisons are clear and directly linked to the data. For example, when discussing the decrease in phone usage, explicitly state the percentage change and its significance. Also, be careful about accuracy; the report states that the least time was spent on meetings, but in 2000, meetings and email had similar percentages. Finally, ensure consistent and accurate use of terminology (e.g., 'the following year' should be 'the following two decades').

The report lacks clear paragraphing and logical flow. The overview is weak and doesn't effectively summarize the main trends. Transitions between sentences and ideas are often abrupt, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparisons and changes over time. Consider organizing the information more thematically, grouping related activities together and using clearer transition words to guide the reader.

The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. While the report uses some relevant terms, it could benefit from a wider range of vocabulary to describe the data more precisely. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'amount of time' or 'percentage,' try incorporating synonyms like 'proportion,' 'duration,' or 'share.' Also, be careful with word choice; for instance, 'significant rose by 30%' could be phrased more naturally as 'increased significantly to 30%.' Using a thesaurus can help expand your vocabulary and improve the sophistication of your language. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense ('illustrate' should be 'illustrates'), subject-verb agreement ('time spent on phone' should be 'time spent on the phone'), and article usage ('the maximum time spent on phone' needs an article). Sentence structure is also often awkward and unclear. Pay close attention to these areas to improve the accuracy and readability of your writing. Proofreading carefully for these common errors can significantly enhance the quality of your report.