Pie Chart

Band 5+: The chart below gives information about what nursing graduates did after finishing their course in the UK in 2009.

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Image for topic: The chart below gives information about what nursing graduates did after finishing their course in the UK in 2009.

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The image details the destinations of nursing graduates in the UK for the year 2009: 84% are working in the health sector, 8% are pursuing further study, 4% are both working and studying, 2% are unemployed, and 2% fall into the other category.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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This chart illustrates the information about Nursing Graduates did after finishing their course in the UK in 2009.

It shows there is a huge amount of Graduates working in the Health Sector . While the Working and Study has some percentages too as well as other fields.

This chart displays the total amount of graduates who choose to work in the health sector accounts for 84 percent of the total graduates in 2009 making it the most widely choosen field and no other fields are even close to it. On the other hand 8 percent of the students choose Working and Study alltogather as they will study as well as work. 4 percent of the graduates remained Unemployed. In contrast to 2 percent of the graduates go for Higher studies and 2 percent choosed some other ways whatever they wanted.

So from the chart it can be seen that Health Sector remained the most powerful sector for the graduates students with others choosing what they requires.

Word Count: 166

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

graduates: 7

percent: 5

sector: 4

other: 4

chart: 3

working: 3

health: 3

study: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and provides some relevant information from the chart, but it includes some inaccuracies and lacks detail. The organization is somewhat clear, but the language could be more precise and sophisticated. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, providing specific details, and using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear paragraphing and logical flow. The ideas are not well-organized, and the transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak. Consider grouping similar ideas together and using transition words to improve the coherence of your writing. For example, you could combine the sentences about 'Working and Study' and 'Higher studies' into a single paragraph to compare and contrast these options.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There is over-reliance on simple words and phrases. To improve, try to use more specific and varied vocabulary related to the topic. For example, instead of 'huge amount,' you could use 'significant proportion' or 'vast majority.' Also, avoid informal language such as 'some percentages too.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. For example, 'Graduates did after finishing' should be 'Graduates did after finishing'. There are also issues with article usage ('the Health Sector') and sentence structure. To improve, focus on using a wider range of grammatical structures accurately and proofread carefully for errors.

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