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Band 5+: The pie charts show the main reasons for migration to and from the Australia in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The pie charts show the main reasons for migration to and from the Australia in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows two pie charts detailing immigration and emigration reasons in Australia in 2010. For immigration: Definite Jobs 38%, Looking for Job 13%, Formal Study 10%, Accompany/Join 37%, Others 2%. For emigration: Definite Jobs 37%, Looking for Job 22%, Formal Study 6%, Accompany/Join 16%, Others 19%.

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The two pie charts illustrate the primary reason of migration to and from Australia in 2010.

Overall, the most significant factor for both immigration and emigration was search for definite job. Whereas, the lowest ratio of immigrants were looking for jobs and the bottommost type of emigrants were due to formal studies.

Definite job were the biggest cause of immigration at 38% followed by formal studies causing 22% of immigration the third biggest source for entry of foreigners was to attend or join at 17%. While 10% of people immigrated to Australia to look for jobs and 13% immigrated for other reasons.

For emigration definite jobs was the major reason upholding 37% emigration. Meanwhile, 21% of emigration was caused by other reasons. Looking for jobs sourced 20% of emigration. However, 16% people who left their country was due to accompany or to join. At 6% the lowest cause of emigration was formal studies.

Word Count: 153

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

emigration: 6

immigration: 3

formal: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main requirements of the task and provides an overview of the trends. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting that detract from the overall quality. For instance, the report misattributes percentages to specific categories (e.g., stating formal studies caused 22% of immigration when the data suggests 10%, and misreporting the 'Accompany/Join' figure). To improve, ensure that every piece of data cited is cross-referenced accurately with the visual information. Additionally, work on grammatical precision, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Definite job were' should be 'Definite jobs were') and the use of articles.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure, but the cohesion is weakened by several sentence fragments and improper use of transition words. For example, starting a sentence with 'Whereas' or 'While' without connecting it to a main clause creates grammatical fragments rather than cohesive sentences. To improve, ensure that subordinating conjunctions are used to link two ideas within a single sentence rather than starting new, isolated sentences. Additionally, the flow between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is functional but repetitive and occasionally used incorrectly. Phrases like 'bottommost type' and 'sourced 20% of emigration' are unnatural in an academic context. There is also some confusion in word choice, such as using 'ratio' when 'percentage' or 'proportion' would be more appropriate. To reach a higher band, aim for a wider range of academic synonyms for 'reason' (e.g., drivers, factors, motivations) and 'show' (e.g., depict, delineate, represent).

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors that impact the clarity of the report. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Definite job were' instead of 'Definite jobs were' or 'Definite job was'), singular/plural inconsistencies, and awkward phrasing (e.g., '16% people who left their country was'). There is also a lack of complex sentence structures used accurately. Focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and ensuring that every sentence contains a complete thought (subject and predicate) to avoid fragments.

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The pie charts show the main reasons for migration to and from the Australia in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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