Discussion

Band 4+: You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

It is universally accepted that the architechture of buildings goes with a dramatical pregress and develppement over the years, and people see the big deference between old and modern buildings; this debate create an opposite ideas and oppinions between people, the first oppinion see that we should replece old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings, however, the other oppinion think that we should protect old buildings. From my prespective, I strongly agree with the first idea and we should replace the old buildings with others modern.

First of all, when we talk about the beauty side, we find that modern buildings are so beautifull than old buildings, and that is the most important side in the building, modern buildings give a comfortable view for eyes and a pretty image for the city or the country and his progress. Seconly, old buildings are not valid for work or living, because they are danderous and can collapse at any time, since the corrosion of building materials.

However, regarding the old historical buildings that have a historical stories or memories, we should not replace them with modern buildings since we delete that historical moments from these sites if we replace them, so in this case, we must protect these buildings, as an instance the old Roman cities in Algeria which called “Djemila” in Setif, and “Timgad” in Batna.

As a conclusion, people must protect the historical buildings and they should not replace them, but they should replace the other old buildings with modern buildings.

Word Count: 254

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

buildings: 15

modern: 6

should: 6

replace: 5

historical: 4

people: 3

protect: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both views and providing a personal opinion. A position is clearly stated in the introduction and maintained throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The first body paragraph presents two distinct points (aesthetics and safety) but does not expand on them with sufficient depth or specific examples. The second body paragraph introduces a crucial distinction between 'old buildings' and 'historical buildings,' which is a good way to nuance the argument, but this distinction could have been more clearly integrated into the overall thesis. To improve, try to extend your arguments by explaining 'why' or 'how' more thoroughly. For example, instead of just saying modern buildings are more beautiful, explain how modern architecture contributes to a city's identity or economic growth. Additionally, ensure that your conclusion more clearly synthesizes your two points rather than just repeating them. While this task focuses on Task Response, improving the logical flow and depth of your supporting evidence will help elevate the overall quality of your response.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed. The transition between the argument for modern buildings and the argument for historical preservation is present, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs is weak. To improve, use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', 'Consequently') and ensure that each paragraph focuses on one clear central topic. Avoid long, run-on sentences in the introduction, as they make the initial premise difficult to follow.

Lexical Resource

There is a limited range of vocabulary, and frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'architechture', 'dramatical', 'pregress', 'develppement', 'deference', 'oppinions', 'replece', 'prespective', 'beautifull', 'danderous') significantly impact the reading flow. While you attempt to use topic-specific words like 'corrosion' and 'historical', they are often used in imprecise ways. Focus on learning the correct spelling of common academic words and aim to use more precise synonyms to avoid repetition (e.g., instead of using 'old' and 'modern' repeatedly, try 'ancient', 'historic', 'contemporary', or 'state-of-the-art'). Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'this debate create'), comparative structures (e.g., 'so beautifull than' should be 'more beautiful than'), and sentence construction. Many sentences are overly long and lack proper punctuation, leading to run-on sentences. To improve, practice writing shorter, more controlled sentences to ensure accuracy, and then work on combining them using complex structures like relative clauses and subordinating conjunctions correctly.

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