Letter

Band 4+: You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter, say what you have learned in your present job suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department explain why you do not wish to leave the company Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear .......................,

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Dear Mr. Khalid,

I trust this letter find you in good health. My name is Dr Naveed, at the moment i am working as a food safety officer in Peshawar. I worked here for 2 years and learned a lot from this organization like working in rush environment, problematic people and also learned how to treat with different people. 2ndly i am interested to write a new project which need some time, but here I don’t have some free time to work on new project here in Peshawar. This company supported me in all aspects. Rights now, I heard that a position of same post is vacant in other city in the same department, now I am interested in moving to that city on the same position because I want to become relax for some time and will work on new project there. Therefore it my humble request to support me in moving from my current job to proposed position. I will be very thankful for this ack of kindness with me.

Your sincerely,

Dr. Naveed

Word Count: 176

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

project: 3

position: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task by mentioning what you have learned in your present job and expressing a desire to move to a different department. However, it does not clearly suggest how the company would benefit from moving you, and the explanation for not wanting to leave the company is vague. The request to move to a different city for a similar position does not align with the task's requirement of moving to a different department within the same company. To improve, ensure you directly address all three bullet points: clearly state the skills gained, explain how the company would benefit from your move to a different department, and provide a specific reason for staying with the company. Also, maintain a formal and coherent structure throughout the letter.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter lacks a clear and logical structure. The purpose of the letter is not immediately clear, and the ideas are not well-organized. The request to move to a different department is not clearly stated, and the reasons are mixed together. The letter would benefit from a clearer introduction, separate paragraphs for each bullet point, and a more logical flow of ideas. For example, the first paragraph could state the purpose, the second could discuss what you have learned, the third could explain the benefits to the company, and the fourth could explain why you want to stay with the company.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There are several instances of informal or inappropriate word choices, such as 'rush environment', 'problematic people', and 'ack of kindness'. The letter would benefit from a wider range of more formal and precise vocabulary. For example, instead of 'rush environment', you could say 'fast-paced environment' or 'high-pressure environment'. Instead of 'problematic people', you could say 'challenging individuals' or 'difficult situations'. The phrase 'ack of kindness' is not standard English; you could say 'act of kindness' or 'gesture of support'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains numerous grammatical errors that significantly affect clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('this letter find'), tense consistency ('I worked' vs 'I am working'), and sentence structure. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and incorrect capitalization. The letter would benefit from a thorough review of basic grammar rules. For example, 'I trust this letter find you' should be 'I trust this letter finds you'. 'I worked here for 2 years' should be 'I have worked here for 2 years' to indicate an ongoing situation. 'Rights now' should be 'Right now'. The letter also contains run-on sentences that make it difficult to follow.

One of your pen friends wants to improve his/her English in advance of moving to Sydney. Write a letter to your penfriend. Advise him/her about the following: listening skills, speaking skills, and vocabulary.

Dear Ellen, Congratulations on moving to Sydney soon, and I’m very happy to give you some advice to improve your English. To help, I’ve listed below some tips to enhance your listening skills, speaking skills, and vocabulary. To strengthen your listening skills, I think you should listen to more podcasts and watch shows that are […]

Band 9

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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One of your pen friends wants to improve his/her English in advance of moving to Sydney. Write a letter to your penfriend. Advise him/her about the following: listening skills, speaking skills, and vocabulary.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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